An exemplary piece of writing appeared in the Daily Titan, a paper run by students of California State University at Fullerton. I say exemplary because it would have been posted as an example of how not to write by my high school journalism teacher whose infamous red pen often doubled the weight of pages she chose to post on the back of her door. That was not the place you wanted your writing to end up. Just look at this lead:

Homeschooling advocates, headed mainly by Christian zealots, are calling for Gov. Schwarzenegger’s protection of their fundamental right to teach their children to be bigots and idiots. dailytitan.com

So there you have it. Spoken like a true, well, the definition of a bigot is “one who is strongly partial to one’s own group…and intolerant of those who differ.” But I’m not into name-calling on my blog.

As if these Christian zealots weren’t bad enough, they aren’t really the source of concern. At least the editorial in the San Francisco Chronicle does pass as such, i.e, an editorial as opposed to, say, a simple rant. But again we find someone using something they do not understand as evidence that we all need stricter regulation.

Then again, the students we worry about are those whose parents isolate them from a full curriculum of basic subjects – especially those who follow the philosophy of “unschooling.”

The state must balance parents’ rights with its obligation to make sure all young people have access to an education. SF Gate

I started to write a more cogent response, but then…well, I thought this would be more fun. My own meme. Think of it more like a writing prompt. And you don’t even have to play on your own blog, although you certainly may. My comment box is fine. Just finish this lead with the stereotype of your choice:

Homeschooling advocates, headed mainly by [insert stereotype], are calling for [use your imagination].

You can even make up your own lead all by yourself if you prefer. I just thought a little help might get you started. Unfortunately, the Daily Titan stole mine, so I’m going to have to think of a new one.

photo credit: debaird

[tags]homeschool, homeschooling, home school, humor, stereotypes[/tags]

In a startling development in California, a special task force consisting of SWAT teams and truancy officers has been developed, virtually overnight, targeting homeschool families.

Originally thought to be a logistical nightmare, distinguishing home-schooled children from that of the public school system, officials quickly learned they could gather up a list of suspects from last year’s contestants, finalists and winners of the National Spelling Bee Contest, unusually high SAT scores and any kid who passed a random drug screen and/or pregnancy test.

“Also, we followed home any polite, courteous or well adjusted child,” said Dug Martinez, SWAT Commander. “Oh, and any kid we caught actually doing their homework at the library.” The Spoof

After arresting rural and suburban parents across the state in the overnight raid and turning children over to Child Protective Services, their attention turned to the educational materials seized during the raid as evidence.

Listed among the home-schooling educational material seized by police: copies of “Plato’s Republic; The Prince; The Magna Carta; The Federalist Papers; The Declaration of Independence; The Constitution and The Bill of Rights.” Ibid.

Sounds like my bookshelf.

There’s nothing like a good parody to lighten the mood. And to point out just how unlikely it is that anything drastic is going to happen any time soon. Even in the worst case scenario, California just isn’t prepared to take this kind of action against otherwise peaceful citizens. There may be changes, but they will most likely be slow, something that will work to homeschoolers’ advantage. Because as the attention of the nation drifts from this back to the presidential race or whatever the next “big story” is, homeschoolers will still be there, fighting for the best options available to them.

In a similar vein, California Welcomes New Headmaster, via Rational Jenn.

And now back to today’s real story: D.C. proposes greater restrictions on homeschools

photo credit: ryarwood

[tags]homeschooling, homeschool, rights[/tags]

Broken Education News

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Simple fact-checking gone awry
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HNW Economic Update
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Eighth graders served detention for…paying in cash

Lost and Found
A heart wrenching tale of love lost…and found

Raising the Bar
Eight year old’s test score prompts federal investigation

The Egg Incident
Patriot Uncovers Terror Plot in Montessori School

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Corporate sponsorship takes education to a new level in unique pilot program

Parents and Headmistress Face Off
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[tags]education, humor, parody[/tags]

Because there is anecdotal evidence that not all teachers are providing adequate instruction in our common schools, I hereby introduce the following bill. As I did the research for this bill I was shocked not only by the fact that situations like this can and actually do occur in public schools, but that there is no system of oversight in place to monitor its occurrence.

Without this oversight in place, we cannot even know how extensive this problem is.

Legislative Bill 1141-B

A Bill

1 FOR AN ACT relating to public schools to provide for evaluation of teachers

2 in schools which seek to meet accreditation or approval requirements.

3 Be it enacted by the people of the State of Nebraska,

4 All accredited and approved public schools in Nebraska and all teachers

5 employed or giving instruction in such schools shall be subject to mandatory testing

6 and monitoring by the State Department of Health and Human Services,

7 with all information to be released to the public.

8 Such rules and regulations may include a provision for the visitation and electronic monitoring

9 of such schools and classrooms to evaluate teacher-student interactions and prevent the

10 verbal, emotional and even physical abuse of students in Nebraska public schools.

11 All observations, recordings and testing results will be turned in to the Nebraska

12 Department of Health and Human Services and be made available to the

13 public.

Opponents argue that anecdotal evidence alone should not drive policy, that there needs to be greater evidence of the extent of the problem before we subject every teacher in the State of Nebraska to electronic monitoring. But without oversight, how can we gather empirical evidence? I firmly believe that many, if not most, public educators are doing a fine job in their classrooms.

How will this legislation interfere with their instruction? I would think they would welcome the oversight as a chance to prove just how well they are doing in their classrooms. I just want to make sure that all children in Nebraska’s public schools have the opportunity to be educated by such professional and caring individuals.

(And just in case you are new to this blog and think I am completely off my rocker, please read this entry first. Then it will make more sense.)

[tags]homeschool, homeschooling, LB 1141, education, humor[/tags]

Homeschool advocates are going to find it increasingly difficult to respond to public criticism should many more articles of this caliber be published. Since the reasoning is impeccable, I am left with no alternative but to present the eulogy for homeschooling. Goodbye, my love, goodbye.

Educators, parents, students, lend me your ears;
I come to bury homeschooling, not to praise it.
The evil that men do makes headlines,
The good is oft interred with their bones.
So let it be with homeschoolers.

The noble Katie Criss
hath told you homeschoolers hide abusers:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath homeschoolers answered it.
Here, under leave of Katie and the rest,
For Katie did her research;
So did they all, all well-researched people–
Come I to speak in homeschooling’s funeral.

It is my lifestyle, precious and full to me:
But Katie says my reasons are unwarranted,
And Katie did her research.
It has brought many families closer together
Whose work did enrich their communities.
Did this in homeschooling seem pernicious?
When the poor hath cried, homeschoolers hath organized:
Isolation should be made of lonelier stuff.

Yet Katie says we are unqualified
And Katie did her research.
You all did see at your state convention
Curricula that could fill a hall,
Support groups, the love of a parent: is this for naught?
Yet Katie sees only “Homeschooling for Dummies”
And Katie did her research.

I speak not to disprove what Katie wrote,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love liberty once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for its loss?
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with homeschooling
And I must pause till it come back to me.

Hat Tip: Omega Mom, who shares a few thoughts of her own, although perhaps not so heavily influenced by Shakespeare…and one curse word at the end.

[tags]homeschooling, homeschool, humor, satire[/tags]

I’ve heard of this problem before. You are home, not doing anything anyway, and therefore fair game to be volunteered for every activity under the sun. I used to do it to my mom all the time. But now it is Life on the Planet who needs some answers.

Why is it that people seem to think that because I am home with my children all day I have nothing to do? What exactly do they think we’re doing here? Do they think it does itself?

I haven’t actually experienced this personally. Our church uses more collective guilt strategies to get individuals to step forward rather than pressuring members directly. I’m not kidding. It is very effective, too, because we end up stepping forward, all the while thinking it was our idea.

But that is no fun for a blog post. So here is as much irreverence as I could muster on a Saturday night:

1. Get an auto-attendant for your phone:

Thank you for calling Life on the Planet’s overburdened homeschool. To better assist you with pulling me in as many directions as possible, please select from the following menu options:

• For covered dishes, press 1.
• For baked goods, press 2.
• For Sunday School lessons, press 3.
• To decorate the church, press 4.
• To clean after the youth group, please call their mothers.

2. Didn’t you get the memo? My hands are full. I can’t believe you didn’t get the memo. Even strangers at the grocery store seem to have gotten it. (May only work if you have more than three children.)

3. Of course! And you’ll naturally be watching my children, right? Johnny should be working on his math at that time, and Susie might need help with her chemistry. She burnt a hole in the kitchen floor last month while I was working on x,y,z for you.

4. Life on the Planet is an Equal Opportunity Rejector. Since I said no to my children fourteen times today, I have to say no to your next fourteen requests as well.

5. Thank you so much for calling! Since you are there at the phone, could you do me a favor and take my number off the speed dial? And go ahead and put me on your “do not call” list, too. Thanks for saving me the trip!

6. Require project proposals to be typed, double spaced and handed to you in triplicate. Require 90 days to review all proposals.

7. Change your answering machine message: “We’re sorry. The number you have dialed has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again.”

8. This could be time consuming, but develop a reputation as a horrid cook, a wretched singer, a careless organizer. Mentioning how you give all the glory to God because you haven’t managed to lose any of your kids (permanently) might get you out of teaching as well.

9. Well, we were getting together with some other families to reenact the Battle of Gettysburg, but you know the church is much bigger than our house. I am sure the canon fire won’t be too distracting…

10. Yes, certainly! And will you be paying with MasterCard or Visa?

Feel free to share your experiences, suggestions and frustrations with this whole setting boundaries thing. Then, you might want to check out the book.

And now for a comedic interlude:

More education-related cartoons at Weapons of Math Destruction.

Via matthewktabor.com

Despite ongoing controversy, polls opened for the Best Current Events, Opinions or Politics Blog yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. Principled Discovery was pleasantly surprised to see her blog in the top of the category, with a clear 75% of the vote.

I understand only four people had voted, but I think this quick start clearly shows one thing: I am not the only one on this blog after midnight.

The opening of the polls shared the day with Consent of the Governed’s Blogiversary. Allegations of offering cyber cake in exchange for votes were waved off.

The cake is there for everyone, regardless of how they are voting.*

Also opening her blog with shared food is Welcome to Granny’s House. The large tray of Brussels sprouts is not arousing any suspicions of campaign fraud, however.

I just want my readers and everyone participating in the Homeschool Blog Awards to eat more healthily.*

Causa Nostrae Laetitiae began campaigning early, appealing to her readers in a slick, thirty second advertisement. Its effectiveness proved itself. Within minutes, she had taken the lead and held it throughout most of the day.

Why Homeschool has gotten off to a slightly slower start, but shows confidence. Securing nominations in four categories, Henry Cate noted,

I was surprised that we were in the Best Curriculum or Business Blog category.

Enjoy the Journey has also experienced evidence of broad support through nominations in multiple categories.

…if I had to pick one of the categories to win, it would be the Best Variety. Why? Because that is what I truly try to do here at ETJ. I try to have a varied and diverse set of topics, from homeschool to eating better….it is all fair game around here!

Hoping that celebrity sells among homeschool voters, The Rebelution secured an endorsement from Chuck Norris which aired last week. It remains to be seen how this strategy will influence voters this year.

Gena Suarez of Home Where They Belong was not available for comment. The reason weighs 5lbs 14 oz.

Not everyone was pleased with the voting process, however. One group of bloggers, disgruntled with the family-friendly policy instituted this year, has renamed the blog awards: Homeschool Blog Awards for Fundies United to Criticize and Kondemn Most Everyone. In protest, a call was made to tamper with the election process.

After an exhaustive analysis that took almost 15 seconds, I have determined that most deserving blog in each category is the blog listed last. The people on the bottom of the list never win, so let’s help them out. [sic]

This violated the ethical standards of a number of respondents who publicly refused to participate, so it remains unclear how this new development will influence this year’s race.

__________________________

*Starred quotes were completely made up.

Congratulations to all the nominees. I hope you enjoy my little tribute to you and I am honored to stand alongside such a great group of bloggers!

[tags]blogging, homeschooling, HSBA, Homeschool Blog Awards[/tags]

Summer of Mom is Teaching asked for eight reasons why we homeschool. Regular readers are familiar with how I respond to anything that looks like a meme when I take the time. New readers and those passing through are about to be initiated.

1. I love discussing the socialization of my children with total strangers.

2. HSLDA alerts? Pure poetry. How could I get through my day without reading them at least four times? Once via my email. Once via an internet forum. Okay, maybe twice that way. And once again via my email when someone else forwards it to me. Oh…and at least one of the blogs I read is bound to post it, too, just in case I missed it via the regular channels.

3. I always wanted to be able to put “right wing fundamentalist nutcase” on my resume. “Christian homeschooler” seems to be a close synonym.

4. Maybe I want to induce a latent adult social anxiety disorder on my children. It is bound to happen to all of us if we live in the world that particular blogger appears to wish to create.

5. I am a complete traitor to the cause of feminism. I have spent years trying to figure out how to best to rankle the movement and present myself as a target. It wasn’t enough to go into teaching despite my GPA. It wasn’t enough to stay home. But when I started homeschooling? Wowzers. Now I am enslaved.

6. Think how quiet running errands would be without being informed at least twice per destination, “You have your hands full.” It helps fill those lulls with absolute strangers.

7. Come to think of it, think how quiet (and quick) running errands would be if they were all in school or daycare? That would be scary.

8. What on earth would I blog about?

So why do you homeschool? I will not pressure you for eight reasons. In reality, I have only one: I believe it is the best option for our family to promote the social, emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual needs of our children.

[tags]homeschooling, homeschool[/tags]

If you want your child socialized… is a little older, but is by far the most popular post I have had (not counting the coverage of the Busekros case). I thought of it today because we are about to embark on a 15 hour journey…not counting stops. If that amount of time sitting elbow to elbow with your siblings does not develop your abilities at getting along with others, I don’t know what will.

If you want your child socialized, you will have to send him to school. While he is getting ready, you’ll have to pack his lunch.

When he gets to school, the children will probably stare at him because he isn’t wearing the same brand of jeans.

Math will probably be review for him, so he’ll know all the answers. The children will call him “calculator” and the teacher will give him extra worksheets. He’ll probably learn that it is better to stay quiet and pretend not to know the answer.

Halfway through the morning, he’ll start to get bored. He will probably begin to kick his legs, tip his chair and tap his pencil. The teacher will have to move him to the seat next to her desk. He’ll ask when it will be time for break and she’ll remind him to raise his hand. He’ll raise his hand and she’ll tell him it’s time for silent reading. The children will probably giggle and he will just stare at his book.

Finally, it will be time for lunch. The teacher will remind them to keep their hands at their sides, to stay in line and not to talk. They probably won’t be allowed to talk at lunch, either.

Your son will probably sit next to a girl he recognizes from church. She will smile and another boy will whisper to them. Your son may learn a rhyme or two and possibly some new words. She may blush and he will forget not to talk. He probably will shout. The lunch aide will take him to the office.

While he is in the office, you will probably get a phone call. You will find out your son does not know how to interact with his peers, is a disruptive influence and has difficulty concentrating. They will probably ask you if he has ADHD and recommend you take him to a doctor.

When it is time to pick him up, you will probably find him standing alone. He will tell you school was fine, but will refuse to answer any questions. He’ll probably complain of a stomach ache. He’ll probably have too much homework to have time to play with his friends.

And chances are, if you want him to learn social skills, you’ll have to pull him out of school.

Inspired by that great children’s book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (in case you didn’t notice).

And if you have a post you would like to share, please share it in my Mr. Linky here.

socialization, homeschooling, public school, homework