So, I haven’t been around much recently. Mostly, I’ve been asleep. Or counting down the minutes until Mookie goes down for his nap or until the children go to bed so that I can go to sleep.
So much so that it began to worry me a bit. But then there’s the doctor’s inevitable response.
“Well, you have five children. You’re pregnant. You’re managing a small hobby farm. Your husband is gone a lot. You’ve lost a child. Any one of those things can cause your symptoms. All of it together certainly explains why you’re so tired.”
And all I can think is, “Yes, but . . . ”
Then last week I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. And while that generally progresses as a symptomless disease, I can’t help but wonder if it isn’t part of my problem. Because while I haven’t gone back in for my specific plan yet, I do have a provisional diet I am supposed to try to follow until I get more specific instructions on how to monitor my blood sugar levels. And after less than a week of reading labels, looking for one and only one piece of information — how many carbs it contains — and trying to space them out through the day, I am starting to feel a little more energetic.
And I’m hoping mostly that means it is working. That the baby won’t suffer any ill effects.That I’ll be able to do more than coast through the rest of this pregnancy and enjoy more of the moments along the way. That I’ll be able to play with the children more and do things more interesting than telling them to go do their reading or start the next chapter in their books.
And I’m hoping just a little that I’ll again find the time and energy to write. The one thing I do just for me.