Thankful

Skimming over Facebook posts. The night before Thanksgiving. All the talk is about turkeys in the oven and pies cooling on the counter. Potatoes being peeled and cheesecakes setting in the fridge. And I think,

“I put my turkey in the brine . . . .  four hours after I meant to. Does that count for anything?”

I probably won’t even start cooking until tomorrow afternoon.

And suddenly I miss the three year old boy who should be here.

The weight of missing him is crushing. I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s unexpected. Like the day I opened a bag and found his hair, still caked in blood, in a little plastic bag from the hospital. And the tears come in choking gasps as they did while I washed it out.

And I am so thankful. Thankful beyond words.

Thankful that this . . . this pain, these tears, this death . . . this is not the end of the story.

Happy Thanksgiving and God bless.

About Dana

Dana homeschools her children on five acres in the country with her husband John.
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11 Responses to Thankful

  1. Jenni says:

    Oh Dana, who cares when the turkey goes in the oven? Your children certainly don’t. You are a wonderful mother, you give your children wings to do and experience the things that they want to, despite the crushing pain you feel, at a higher or lesser degree all of the time. You have carried their grief since Tiggy died as well as your own and yet you still push on with your family’s dreams and plans and keep trying, even through the setbacks. You are an inspiration and an example to others and I am thankful for YOU and that you blog so honestly. I pray for you Dana and I wish I lived nearer to know you better, with love, Jenni

    • Dana says:

      I will confess to feeling a slight bit of Turkey envy as I read all the posts, but we aren’t having a huge gathering. It’s just us and each of the kids chose a dish to make (or help make as the case may be). Beautiful in its own right, but we’re eating late because Daddy’s getting home late tonight. :)

      Thank you so much for such kind words. It’s the unexpected moments that are hard. I wouldn’t expect posts about sweet potatoes to catch me like that.

  2. Anonymouse Joe says:

    It is good to give thanks to the Father for turkey, potatoes, pie and cheesecake. He alone divvies our portions and provides sustenance for our earthly bodies.

    How more appropriate then we give thanks to His obedient Son for His sacrifice that purchased, redeemed and renewed our souls.

    Yes, you have rightly said, “the story does not end here,” for our hope is eternal, our anchor is secure. Though waves crash against us and the tempest rages we know for a fact:

    “Darkness came on a Friday, very black: but by Sunday the Son rose bringing eternal light that cannot be put out.”

  3. Tammy says:

    {{{{{Dana}}}}}

    This part of the story is very short. It is eternity that we live for as believers. THAT is where our treasures are! Until then, keep loving your family the best you can through laughter and tears – just as you are doing! – knowing God’s grace covers it all.

    Blessings,
    Tammy ~@~

    • Dana says:

      I think that is one of those things we know as believers, but don’t always grasp when we fret about elections and droughts and gas prices. It’s all small stuff in those moments where we keep our heavenly perspective.

  4. Q says:

    You’re right, it’s not the end of the story. The chapter, maybe. The real question is now, what are we going to do with what we are currently being blessed with?

    Stewards . . . we are stewards . . .

    Nice to ‘see’ you again!

    • Dana says:

      Feed them “turtee” (Mookie’s new word). That’s what I’m going to do with them today. :)

      I was missing you, Q, but I couldn’t remember the name of your blog. I really need to put together a blogroll in my side bar so I can remember and not just catch up when someone leaves a comment!

  5. Virginia says:

    I have no words except to say I wish I was there to give you a hug.

  6. Deb says:

    I miss my Dad, my relatives each and every day but the holidays tend to bring it to the surface easier. Each time I read a post from you I say a prayer for you and your family. Hugs!

    Some day we walk the streets of gold and be reunited AND

    “. . . there shall be no more curse, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him. They shall see His face . . .” Revelation 22:3-4

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