I started a community. A support group of sorts. For anyone who is hurting and would like encouragement to seek out joy. Why would I do such a thing?
This Christmas season has not been easy. I find myself pacing through the day, unable to settle my thoughts, unable to concentrate. Nights bring an anxiety that rests in the pit of my stomach, driving sleep from me and leading me to watch shows I’m scarcely interested in until even hulu asks if I maybe need a break.
And it reminds me of last year when, after several months of shock, I decided to take a small step forward and join a few support groups online. Only it really wasn’t a step forward. Not for me. I cannot begin to express the level of despair I felt talking to women years ahead of me in this journey who seemed to wear their grief like a badge of honor and a sign of loyalty to the child they lost. Who seemed to turn every conversation into a competition for who was hurting the most.
That’s when a woman hurting after a miscarriage and fearing that she might not be able to have children said to me, “At least you got to hold your baby.” And I didn’t really know what to do with that, so I left.
And I realize that what I want is a small space where people who are hurting can come together and share their burdens so they are easier to bear and where we can encourage one another to seek out joy a little bit each day. So I decided to try to create one and I guess we’ll see where it goes from here.
You don’t have to have lost a child to join. You just need to want to seek out joy even when it isn’t easy.
Welcome to Roscommon Acres, my little home in the country. I write here about life more abundantly, from the joy of a baby’s smile to the almost unbearable grief of losing a son. I am seeking beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3).
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What a fantastic idea Dana!
There are alot of people out there, including myself who have no idea what to do to bring joy back into their lives either during a crisis for support or after.
I do take everything to the Lord but there are times when an encouraging word from someone would make a person feel less alone.
My losses seem so miniscule compared to yours, but I think you are on to something with this idea. I pray this community can bring the joy you are searching for and be a work of God in the steps towards moving forward for all those involved.
I think this is fabulous and I pray that God will bless your group and the people who join you. I remember this past year while going through so much and at times feeling so isolated as I watched people walk out of my life left and right because I guess they simply didn’t know what or how to do or be to someone going through such difficult spots in life. I guess I said that to say I see blessings ahead as everyone through any fascist of life could use encouragement.
I”m so sorry that the lady with the miscarriage hurt you….but I know just how she feels, I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve thought those words but thank God, have never voiced them for they are hurtful and there is nothing to be gained by saying them. Although, I would have given so much to have held the babies that I have miscarried, even if it was just for a few minutes…. just to know who they were and give them a name, would have made the pain so much more bearable.
I pray that people would stop and think before they utter words that should not be said or perhaps said better……
Once again Dana you have touched me. Although I have not lost a child, I have experienced loss in other ways that have haunted me at different stages of my life. I have been paralyzed by the hurt that comes from loss and have looked for others who have experienced the same kind of loss to no avail. You are on to something and I’m sure that the Lord has placed this upon your heart for reasons you do not yet know. Be blessed sweet in your new venture. I hope you will continue to share on this sight as well. I find true blessings each time you write about your family. In a world that seems at times cold and callous, you bring warmth a light into our lives. Thank you for all you have shared in the last year Dana. May God use this opportunity to continue to heal your brokenness. Much love and prayers to you and your sweet family. Sherry
This sounds like a wonderful idea. After such painful loss, I hope this community can help you and others find the small moments of joy you need.
Thank you, everyone! Should have some discussions starting next week, but in the meantime, feel free to drop in and introduce yourself or start your own discussions if you have any questions!