“What is it, Mommy? Can I open it?”
A chorus of voices leaps around me.
“No, it’s nothing exciting. Just our homeschool paperwork.”
I open it to show them.
KEEP THIS DOCUMENT – THIS IS YOUR OFFICIAL ACKNOWLEDGMENT LETTER
Nothing exciting. But I dare not tell my children how little I’m looking forward to this school year.
I’m holding on, but with a constant nagging feeling that my children deserve more than a mom who is just hanging on. As I look over the papers to be sure that no further information is being requested, I think I catch a glimpse of why the last week has been so difficult for me.
Mattias has been heavy on my mind. I’ve spent more time sitting on the porch looking at the cedars that mark the northern edge of the cemetary. I’ve spent more time with my head resting on the neck of my puppy. I’ve spent more time just trying to keep it together.
Because last week we bought school supplies and amidst the excited squeals of the children over all the new things, all I could think of was how Mattias wasn’t going to be there to bite the tips off the markers, crash his cars into the marker board, and run away with handfulls of letter tiles.
And then there’s this paperwork. Every year it leaves me struggling to put together a scope and sequence that I think will satisfy the state since I write my own curriculum for most subjects.
At least until this year. This year the paperwork was easy.
Bible – well, I actually didn’t think they cared so I didn’t bother, but we’ll be working through a devotional I bought.
Spelling - All About Spelling.
Math – Right Start.
Science – Apologia
Everything else – TRISMS, though I’ll be using the Hillsdale Academy reference guide rather heavily to organize what we’re doing.
I’m ordering all my books. I’m putting them in order on the shelves. And then I’m planning on getting through this school year by turning the page and doing whatever it says to do next.
But I don’t really want to just get through the year. I want to be here, with my children, teaching them and learning from them. I want to be a family learning together. So we’ll be starting off the school year with a little family meeting to try to figure out how to achieve our goals together but with a little lighter load on mom.
And then we’ll turn to page one.
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