Five children, my mom and I packed into a car with all we need for almost two weeks on the road. A cooler separates two children in the back. Bags, chairs, odds and ends take up the leg room for everyone not fortunate enough to still need a car seat. There’s no room because my one rule for traveling is that nothing can be packed higher than the seats. I don’t want a deer or a minor fender bender or even slamming on the brakes to turn our stuff into deadly projectiles. Tired, uncomfortable and irritable, our vacation begins.
As did the bickering. The arguing. The poking. The kicking of seats. For 350 miles to our first stop at a little campsite in Oklahoma, the children argued.
“Do you want to go to camp?” I asked. “Is it worth the drive? Or do you want to turn back?”
Yes, they wanted to go. They all agreed. But as nine became ten and ten became eleven and no one showed any signs of sleeping, I began to wonder.
A little after midnight, I finally pulled into the campsite. As I tried to make myself comfortable somewhere between a toddler seat and a steering wheel, I wondered some more.
“Is it worth the drive?“
This journey through life is not easy. I am often cramped in a position I see no way out of, sitting next to someone I don’t always get along with thinking all the while that somehow everyone else has it a little better. And if only I could change this little bit, everything would be better.
And now that I have had a taste of real suffering, the veil has been lifted. The veil that allowed me to say, “Smile and be happy!” while all of creation groans under the weight of sin has been lifted and I groan alongside it.
I used to look forward to the future, to the adventure each day brought, to the fulfillment of dreams painted on a canvas of late night conversations and musings about all that life could be. But the color has gone out of my dreams as I realize just how unimportant most of my pursuits have become. How unimportant they always have been, though I never recognized it before.
But now I look forward to a different future.
The children are better at it than I am. LE sometimes prays that God would let Tiggy sleep in His big bed. Bug wants to know if Jesus plays chase with him the way we did. They talk about Heaven the way I used to talk about this property: full of work and play and loved ones and life.
Sometimes I listen to them talk and I get glimpses of Heaven. Of eternity. Of life with God and the saints and Tiggy. Forever. I imagine the brilliance of Heaven and all I ever hoped for in this world pales in comparison. Standing at the gates of eternity, it is hard to imagine that the temporal struggles of this world will have quite the same importance as they seem to now.
Isn’t it worth the drive? Through the inconveniences, the struggles and the heartache, isn’t Heaven worth it?
I homeschool my children on a small hobby farm in rural Nebraska and write about life more abundantly, from the joy of a baby's smile to the almost unbearable grief of losing a son while seeking beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3)
Glad you’re all safe. I’ve thought about you and the children often over these past weeks. I hope with all sincerity that your trip offered some insights and a bit of relief with the children’s/your grief and sadness. Welcome back Dana.
jen´s last [type] ..i came face to face with a suicidal person
Sounds like a typical trip traveling with children to me! Glad you made it back and forth, Dana.
In today’s world we tend NOT to have an eternal mindset. But it is a place we should always be yearning for as this earth is not our home. As I’ve lost people dear to me, my heart has looked more to that future as this earth loses its appeal.
However, since we don’t know the number of our days, if the Lord still has me here it’s because He still has a purpose for me now in serving Him wherever or however.
So, yes, it’s worth the drive as long as we remember He’s in the car with us
{{{{{Dana}}}}}
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
Tammy´s last [type] ..please put on your new toga
It was a refreshing time, Jen. Not without its bumps in the road, but everyone had a great time!
Thank you, Tammy. I am sorry for your losses. The children were a little better the second day and the drive home was actually rather pleasant. And of course the trip itself. Swimming, hiking, sightseeing, meeting another blogger and her children . . . it was nice.
Dana´s last [type] ..Is it worth the drive?
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somehow everyone else has it a little better. And if only I could change this little bit, everything would be better.”
i really know that feeling some how that thing makes me try my bests to prove it to my self by compering my life… which are basicly not the same
thanks
dido´s last [type] ..Unpleasant cause of severe headaches
living life through any circumstances, unexpected curves & hope for the future is always worth everything…
What a beautiful observation, Dana. Last year when we lost my husband’s mother we read through Randy Alcorn’s book “Heaven” and realized how much we have to look forward to and yet hardly ever turn our hearts and minds towards.
I was reminded of it again while watching PBS’ “Colonial House”, in which modern families volunteered to forgo modern life for a few weeks and live in a Puritan replica village, circa 1628. One of the small boys becomes ill and his father struggles with whether to continue the experiment with 1628 era medical care or whisk him off to an emergency room for modern treatment. The father is grateful that he at least has that choice, and it renews his respect for the faith of the original Puritans, who were only able to risk and lose so much because they had an eternal perspective that is so lacking today.
Thank you for that reminder.
I’ve listened to the introduction a few times, Rachel, but haven’t tackled the book yet. It makes me think about how little I really thought about Heaven before.
Dana´s last [type] ..Is it worth the drive?
I’m enjoying reading your blogs and admire your openness with even your daily struggles. I must say that “somehow everyone else has it a little better” totally captures my attitude today. Sadly, I’ve let the messes crowd out the moments today. I’ve watched others who aren’t frazzled, exhausted, and surrounded by a long to do list and let that crowd my “sight”. It is going to be totally worth it. I fall so short of being able to set my mind of Heavenly things sometimes. I know that God knows my heart and I am so thankful for his mercy and grace. Thanks for sharing.
It’s worth the drive. You are an excellent mother. So glad I was along the path.
sprittibee´s last [type] ..Books For a Homeschool Teacher
Dana, you bring me to my knees. Humbling post. Beautiful.
Gretchen´s last [type] ..Baby….or whatever….
I missed you. Looking forward to hearing about your trip when you have rested up. You are often in my prayers.
Linda
And ever so much more worth it, to be with your Tiggy again someday…laughing at his antics, with Jesus’ alongside…
Teri @ StumblingAroundInTheLight´s last [type] ..On Asking
Dana,
Ah yes. I know the colorless look of all things when you realize all of the things that seemed to matter so much don’t anymore. And you long for what truly does matter but want a piece of the picture back, someone who made the picture complete. I sometimes ask myself, is it worth it? And some days, I struggle to have the faith that it is because it hurts to think about what was and can never be again on earth. Lately, God has been revealing to me how little I know about the beautiful Heaven He gives us and I ask, and beg, for faith to overtake my heart. Faith, and a relentless hope so much that my cup overfloweth. My mother-in-law, the young widow at 52, has found it. She is 3 years out…and I admire her walk greatly. In pain and through tears we say yes, the destination is worth the road, and we believe sometimes only because we are strong for our kids. We know that God will one day bring us out of the desert. Our walk will be easier, colorful again, and with joy we will look back and see what God did through something we thought to not ever cause joy. May your trip bring you a refreshed heart! Love from Lincoln.
I’m glad you had a much needed break. Sometimes we need it to re-charge ourselves in this busy world.
Abdiesoabdel´s last [type] ..How to be creative in making your flash game: Be a game artist.
It had to be worth if you needed a break so much…
Julia´s last [type] ..Tramadol for dogs side effects after i used it
Thank you, everyone! It was a good trip overall. We got to see the bats in Austin and that was cool. I think my second favorite thing. My favorite was just hanging on the porch of the cabin but we didn’t do much of that. The time we had planned to do that was spent stressing how to pick up kids from camp when the car had broken down.
I may as well have sat on the porch because all the stressing didn’t accomplish anything.
Dana´s last [type] ..Is it worth the drive?
This is what I want too…
Heaven–real to me.
Heaven–living really (really really) like I know it’s the real end-of-the-journey.
Going to link to this in the comments of my most recent post.
Side note–saw someone’s comment above about Alcorn’s book Heaven…it honestly did help us a lot when Selah died. But I wasn’t at a place to handle the big-thick-real-version, so we read his “Heaven for Kids” again and came back to the other one later…
Kara @ The Chuppies´s last [type] ..When You Know You’re Going to Die…
Gosh, Dana…seriously…you should write a book. What insight you have!
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The song that comes to mind is It Will Be Worth It All…
Life’s day will soon be o’er, all storms forever past,
We’ll cross the great divide, to glory, safe at last;
We’ll share the joys of heav’n – a harp, a home, a crown,
The tempter will be banished, we’ll lay our burden down.
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.
MarshaMarshaMarsha´s last [type] ..quick update
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