Is God good?

A recent comment, words of encouragement.

“You will again call God good.”

Pause for reflection.

I’ve cried out in anguish with a sorrow so deep there were not words to attach to the prayer. I’ve cried out in anger over sliced hot dogs, snipped drawstrings and safety fences that in the end were not enough to spare my little boy from a terrible accident. I’ve wrestled with why. Why? Why isn’t my little boy here, asleep in his little bed with his bottom in the air and a car tucked under his arm?

But did I ever stop calling God good?

I think of recent conversations, Facebook statuses and Twitter updates with others extolling the virtues of God.

“Car needs over a thousand dollars worth of work. Didn’t know how we were going to afford it. Then we did our taxes and the money we’re getting back covers it almost exactly.

Isn’t God amazing?

“Had lots of errands. Forgot to fill the tank. Low fuel light came on as we came into a part of town where I did not want to stop. Ran out of gas, coasted down a hill, into a gas station and right to the pump.

Isn’t God faithful?”

“Hubby got the job! After over a year, our savings held out and he got the job!

Isn’t God good?”

Pause for reflection.

What about when things don’t turn out so well?

As I knelt on the floor, the weight of a dresser on my back, trying to keep my son’s head and neck straight as I rolled him to his side so he wouldn’t aspirate on his own vomit . . .

{Was God amazing?}

As I stood shaking in the ER, wanting to be with him (needing to be with him), terrified of being in the way as I heard them trying over and over and over to get him intubated . . .

{Was God faithful?}

And, only minutes after a nurse had told us he would be in room 201, went over the use of the respite rooms, admonished us to be strong for him, as the surgeon came in and told us he couldn’t save our son . . .

{Was God good?}

It isn’t really something we post to Facebook quite like that, but even in tragedy, God is amazing. He is faithful. He is good. Because His character is not dependent on my circumstances. He has done many wonderful things in my life, but His character is not revealed through my wealth nor through my safety nor through my comfort.

His character is revealed through the cross.

And as I think of my son crushed, his skull broken, his form lifeless, I can think of only one thing.

Our Father did it willingly. For me. For you. For the world He loved so much He gave His only begotten son.

Happy Easter.

136 thoughts on “Is God good?”

  1. Beautiful. What a powerful witness for Christ you have. My love and prayers are with your family this Easter as you celebrate the resurrection and the assurance and reminder it gives that you will be with Tiggy again one day.

  2. Wow. So powerful. So true. As we celebrate the resurrection, I think of Tiggy being there with Jesus. I bet they REALLY celebrate up there. 🙂 Praying for your family.

  3. Thank you for writing this. As our family approaches a year from the day our 3 year old went to be with her heavenly father after an accident in our home, these are the things I tend to ponder. Despite the lingering question of “why God?”, the truth always remains…God IS good. I have prayed for your family.

  4. “because His character is not dependent on my circumstances.” you are my hero. i am hugging you so tightly right now. i hope you can feel it. thank you for teaching me the lessons of faith every day. God is indeed so good….

  5. Dana,
    Thank you!! Even in the midst of all your family is going through, you gave honor and praise to God. What a testimony to the many people who read your blog. I pray God will continue to heal your family and that you have an amazing Easter.

  6. Dana, What a beautiful post and how reflective of my own heart. Tomorrow, we will place a memorial stone at the grave of our son. Tomorrow would have been his 13th birthday. Tomorrow is 10 months since we placed his body there. Tomorrow is Good Friday because God is Good and yes, he is amazing and faithful as well. May your Easter weekend be blessed as ours will be as we celebrate our loving God, rejoicing that our sons are together with Him in Paradise forever.

  7. What a beautiful way to bring glory to God in your circumstances. Thank you! You are right – God knows exactly what you are going through. He gave his Son willingly. Thank you for the morning cry and change in perspective.

  8. Love this post.

    “His character is not dependent on my circumstances……His character is revealed through the cross.” — I will be quoting you often.

    And as I go to the cemetery today to place flowers on my son’s marker, I will be reminding my family this very thing.

    God has never let us down.

  9. A friend of mine lost her premature baby on Easter Sunday. Her faith was strong enough to comfort many of her friends. One thing that always sticks with me is the pastor of the church asking quietly “Would you want him back?’ For many of us I think it was a true realization he was in a better place. I wish you and your family a Joyful Easter with much peace in your hearts.

  10. I must admit great concern when I first started reading your post, but then saw the direction in which you were headed.

    “As we see Dana work through and relate to voluntary brokenness of a son.”

    Yes, God is GOOD!

    You are doing just fine, dear lady. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. You’re not getting over it, but you are getting through it. Praising God for his work in you this morning.

  11. {{{{Dana}}}} Your words are so hard, yet so true. And it is the truth, whether we understand it or not, that will set us free. God IS good……all of the time……even when it doesn’t feel like it. Yet, its not our *feelings* that determine God’s Goodness, but God’s Truth revealed to us through His written Word to us which reveals Who He is to us.

    God will continue to use Mattias to touch the hearts of people through your words which communicate who God is both in times of joy and in times of hurt.

    Blessings to you and your family.

  12. Dana,
    This is quite possibly the most beautiful witness to God I have ever read. I pray for you daily and am so sorry for the loss of your baby.

  13. Yes, He is good even in our most terrible circumstances. My husband and I actually had “God is good” written on our son’s tombstone because it meant so much to us. Our prayer is that others visiting the cemetery would see those words and believe it as well. You will see your son again someday *hugs* 🙂

  14. We almost lost our daughter 1 year ago this month. I walked in her room to find her hanging from her neck because her dropside crib broke.
    This is the first time that I have visited your blog, but I know I will be a regular visiter in the future.

  15. I stood in that very place and said those very words. I continue to stand and say them when day after day passes and some how the tidal wave becomes mundane, it is never less true. But you have said them so beautifully, and I needed to hear them today. Thank you.

  16. Dana:
    It is so astonishing and moving how Good God is. May he continue to heal your family. I’m so inspired by your positive outlook and faithfulness. Thank you for this. I see how so many times in my life the Lord is always there to remind us that it can be so much worse. Thank you again. Have a Blessed Easter!

    Someone shared this with me today and it does remind me of how glorious and amazing his love is.
    I am sharing this to all of you to remind us all of God’s Great Love!

    What is crucifixion?

    A medical doctor provides a physical description:

    The cross is placed on the ground and the exhausted man is quickly thrown backwards with his shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire
    feels for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drives a heavy, square wrought-iron nail through the wrist deep into the wood.
    Quickly he moves to the other side and repeats the action, being careful not to pull the arms too tightly, but to allow some flex and
    movement. The cross is then lifted into place.

    The left foot is pressed backward against the right foot, and with both feet extended, toes down, a nail is driven through the arch of
    each, leaving the knees flexed. The victim is now crucified.

    As he slowly sags down with more weight on the nails in the wrists, excruciating fiery pain shoots along the fingers and up the arms to
    explode in the brain – the nails in the wrists are putting pressure on the median nerves. As he pushes himself upward to avoid this
    stretching torment, he places the full weight on the nail through his feet. Again he feels the searing agony of the nail tearing through
    the nerves between the bones of his feet. As the arms fatigue, cramps sweep through his muscles, knotting them deep, relentless, and
    throbbing pain. With these cramps comes the inability to push himself upward to breathe. Air can be drawn into the lungs but not exhaled.
    He fights to raise himself in order to get even one small breath.

    Finally, carbon dioxide builds up in the lungs and in the bloodstream, and the cramps partially subsided. Spasmodically, he is able
    to push himself upward to exhale and bring in life-giving oxygen. Hours of limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-renting cramps,
    intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain as tissue is torn from his lacerated back as he moves up and down against rough timber.

    Then another agony begins: a deep, crushing pain deep in the chest as the pericardium slowly fills with serum and begins to compress the
    heart. It is now almost over. The loss of tissue fluids has reached a critical level. The compressed heart is struggling to pump heavy,
    thick, sluggish blood into the tissues. The tortured lungs are making frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. He can feel the chill
    of death creeping through his tissues.

    Finally, he allows his body to die.

    All these the Bible records with the simple words, “…and they crucified Him” (Mark 15:24).

    What wondrous love is this?

  17. I’m so thankful you can write this Dana…
    So thankful.
    I said those words…but it took a while before I could feel them.
    But what you write is true.
    God is good always.
    God is faithful always.
    God loves me always.
    Him bringing you to this place of writing this post…is evidence of that.

  18. Dana, I came across your”Is God Good” post via @sarahmaewrites on Twitter. My sister, thank you for sharing your heart, your vulnerability and the Truth. Praying for you this Easter.

  19. You are AMAZING! I will praise HIM in this storm, right? I haven’t followed you or known you before today but now I will call you friend.

    Happy Easter!

    Jennifer
    twitter….momto3blessings

  20. Thank you for sharing that, Dana. It is so hard to walk through these dark trials, but I praise God for the lessons you are learning and sharing with all of us. You really gave me a lot to meditate on today – thank you.

    My oldest son (19) just lost a close friend from high school fighting for our freedom and our country in Afghanistan. It has only been 1 month since he has gone Home. I’m not sure if his mom and dad are ready to read your blog, but I will send them the link so they can have the option to read what you wrote when they are ready. I know they will be able to relate to what you are going through because they are going through the same thing.

    Continuing to pray for you and your family.

  21. “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.” Ecclesiastes 7:2

    We find comfort because Jesus wept. He wept because we are so utterly degnerate we have no comprehension of what vile, disgusting, sinful deeds we have committed against our Holy God and the ignorance we have towards His grace, goodness and gospel. Knowing our nature as it is He still went to the cross for us; weeping for wretched me.

    Christ went to the cross for Tiggy, for your railroading friend, for those who have come and those who will come to Him. In our pain and suffering we know that we can reach out in our tears and anger and touch the hand of God, see his face, and be comforted in his arms.

    Jesus didn’t come to save an unfallen world. No! Christ came because the world is very, very broken. So pitifully broken that even the works of the most godly person is as filthy rags.

    We are more connected with God in our grief than in any false ‘prosperity/wonderful plan’ gospel. We are not promised a life of leisure but the internal peace that is the Holy Spirit to cope, carry on and overcome.

    – “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. John 15:18”

    Glory be to His name alone.

  22. Again and again your words amaze and astonish and encourage me. You are able to put into words things that leave most people speechless. God have given you an amazing gift in your writing! Thank you for sharing it!

  23. I don’t have any words at all, but I really feel like I ought to leave a comment anyway. So you know I was here, I guess. Thank you. Beautiful.

  24. I am almost never at a loss for words but I am now. Weeping for your loss, weeping at the thought that my Father did something so painful for me. Praying for you & your family. Thankful for how you have glorified Him even through your pain.

  25. I knew from the beginning you would have a testimony in all this! I cried as I read this. Beautiful!

  26. I love you, too, dad. And mom.

    And thank you, everyone. Wow. I’m a little overwhelmed by all the kind comments. And tweets. And suggestions for others to read this post. Thank you so very much.

    I am blessed.

  27. A friend posted a link here on her Facebook page and I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes reading posts on your blog.

    There are no words. Just know that God used you in a powerful way in my life today.

    Thank you for clinging to the Truth.

  28. I just wanted to say that I lost a baby at birth and he died in my arms. I just want to say that I would go through my mind wandering back so many times thinking if I had done this, or had I done that or would if I hadn’t skipped one day of prenatal pills ect… I know that for my son he was born with a genetic condition and even then it was well had I not sinned, had I not done this or that he would have lived. All I am trying to say here is that no matter what the circumstances of our child’s life being taken away from us. It was a part of our heart that was ripped from our chest and stomped on and dreams and hopes dashed. It hurts and we can’t help but go back and just think if for one moment I had done something diffrent… But we can’t go back we can’t rewind and all we can do is go forward and cling to Jesus. Your doing a wonderful job of that. Thanks for sharing your story and your heart. I pray for you. God Bless HJM

  29. Dana,
    I’m sitting here with goosebumps and tears in my eyes.
    Thank you for being so faithful.
    Thank you for being an example.
    Thank you for being honest and raw.

    Thank you for being weak so we see that HE is strong.

    ((((HUGS)))))

    Toni

  30. How great the Father’s love for us! Beyond our understanding until He gives us a glimpse…..thanks for sharing, Dana.

    We can rejoice because Jesus IS ALIVE and so is that sweet little boy of yours!

    Blessings,
    Tammy ~@~

  31. oh Dana- my heart has not stopped aching for you since i began this “journey” with you. i know you don’t want to be but you are such an inspiration to so many. i pray for comfort and peace for you.

  32. Thank you for this. I’m crying as I write and I praise God for revealing Himself to you in the midst of all of this pain. God was very good to us a few days ago when I found my 21 month old son on the third shelf of our extremely heavy bookcase. It’s fastened to the wall- because of you. Thank you for being willing to share even when it’s so difficult.

  33. Your words are so beautiful! I am at a loss for any myself, your post stopped me and grabbed my shoulders and opened my eyes. You inspire even if it isn’t your intent.

  34. Dana, this is beautiful. I found your blog around the time of the accident which coincided with the death of my dad. I was concerned because I really wasn’t crying very much for a son whose lost his father. Well nightly I would catch up on how you family was doing. We have five kids of our own, soothe story hit so close. Each time I checked into your blog i wept and wept and wept for your family. Your bravery helped me get through my hard times. I am glad i found your blog when i did and happy to see the joy that is returning to Roscommon Acres!

  35. Thank you for every word you have typed out and shared. Thank you for sharing your heart even when the words are full of raw grief yet full of hope in the giver and taker of life. Thank you for allowing us hear your story, allowing us to pray for you and your family and for helping some of us who can’t seem to find the words feel like maybe its okay for us to grieve and express our pain as well, thank you for being a sister in Christ who actually encourages me without even knowing me…

  36. Truly your strength and faith amazes me. I only hope I could be as strong as you have been should that ever happen to my family. I am praying you have a peaceful Easter

  37. Dana,
    thank you somuch for sharing this powerful message today. i so needed the reminder that God’s characer is revealed in the cross…..wow. it’s so easy for me to put my eyes on my circumstances and become overwhelmed because my circumstances are blinding me to the Truth of God’s character. He is so faithful, even when we are faithless….Praise God!
    I pray thay as you walk through this Easter weekend, that God would fill you with sweet reminders of his amazing love for you…the cross being the biggest expression of that.
    God bless you….
    ~patty

  38. I cannot help but see how many lives little Tiggy has touched, how many hearts softened. How the Lord is using him still, through you, to give witness to His love and grace. Bless you this Easter and find peace knowing Jesus will care for your Tiggy as no one else can, until you are reunited with him in Heaven.
    God bless you and your family,
    Janna

  39. Thank you for sharing. You have deeply touched my heart this morning.

    With love in Him~

  40. Prayers for you all – thanksgiving for your honesty – and rejoicing in God’s work for us. So unworthy.

  41. Dana, wow…. beautifully said! Bravo! God’s grace is certainly upon you and giving you the strength and courage to heal through this blogging process. Can you imagine going through the past 6 months without Him? We are so blessed to know Him, to feel His presence, and to be held by Him in times of sorrow. God is Good, always and forever. Thank you once again for the small chat over tea this morning. May the glory of Him shine over you this Easter weekend. Be blessed sweet one….. 🙂

  42. Thank you for sharing. I know I was supossed to read this today. You have set the tone for my whole mindset on this Good Friday. I was blessed by you.
    Erin

  43. Fairest Lord Jesus, thank you for Dana, for reaching to her life and through her words to offer hope. You are alive. Thank You for making a way for us to share eternal life with YOU. You are good. Thank you Dana for writing. Love in Christ, Linda

  44. Wow! Very powerful testimony. My heart still aches for you as you share what is so sacred and true. God bless you Dana and your family today and every day! May He cover you with His love, His peace, His healing and His power!!

  45. Those posts and comments from others when they get the answer they want really sting me too. Ultimately, our daughter died, too. God gave us 8 1/2 years with her when we were initially told we’d have 4 days — that was a blessing. But those 8 1/2 years were hard, painful, frustrating, difficult. And then she died.

    God is good.

    Whether we get the answer we think is best or whether what he decides is best for us is hard and hurtful and NOT what we would choose.

  46. Blessings to you and your precious family this Easter, as you have blessed me this day, with powerful words! God is good even through our battles and storms… you are living proof!

  47. A very inspirational writing. With tears in my eyes, I pray that you may feel the Lord with you always. You are a great example, to see the blessings amidst the trials and pain.

  48. thank you for sharing
    we may not know the answers but we know the One who does
    ‎”My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
    i have learned so much about God in the 2 years since my husband died

  49. In many instances I’ve thought the same things in regard to posts such as those. For different reasons than your own but I’ve pondered it as well.

    Sometimes I think He wants to separate us from the world; give us more to live for than what’s in front of us, but rather, what’s waiting afterward maybe… no death, no autism, no disease, no suffering… I don’t know.

    You’re right; He stays the same, no matter what.

    My prayers are with you
    ~Michele

  50. I just recently had a discussion with a friend of how through it all I wouldn’t want Jordyn to come back to this world. I don’t have to worry about her, I know where she is. I know she’s safe and loved beyond all measure that I can imagine and above and beyond! She’s where we’re all looking forward to going!

    God is good and he’s good all the time, through the good and through the bad times. I am thankful that although I don’t understand his ways, I can rest assured that they are good. I have peace in knowing that through it all, he’s holding me and loving me and that he’ll never let go. I buried my child who suffered far more than I ever will, yet she’s with our King and I praise him.

  51. AMEN! Even today, when we remember our Lord’s crucifixion, we call it “Good” Friday. Keep clinging to the Truth! Our God is glorified as you proclaim it! May the God of all comfort comfort you with the comfort which only He can offer, and may many come to know Him as Savior, Lord and Comforter as a result of your words here and your faith as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

    Grace and Peace,
    Angel

  52. I’m new to your blog, came from The Modest Mom. I lost my son, Ian, 4 years ago to SIDS. We are also a HS family of 7 (including Ian!)

    My heart is with you, I wept hot tears for you and your family. The second hardest thing is parenting grieving siblings 🙁 HUGS

  53. I wonder what your thoughts about gods goodness are when faced with scripture such as:

    2 Kings 2:23-24
    “From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”

    Numbers 31
    Upon the lords command moses and an army destroy an entire city, men women and children, except they save the virgin women for themselves.

    1 Samuel 15:2-3
    “Thus saith the LORD of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt.

    Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.”

    Job 18-19
    Jobs children are killed by god during a test to satisfy Satan’s curiosity as to whether Job will remain perfect and righteous (even though god is omnipresent and already knows the outcome, he humors satan, i guess)

  54. I wasn’t prepared to be sobbing right now.

    I had no intention of starting my quiet time this evening realizing how spoiled I am and how ungrateful I am and how I too often do not
    take the time to thank God for His blessings.

    I wasn’t in the mood to feel guilty for the harse words I might
    have spoken to my children today when I too easily forget that
    every moment I have with them could be my last.

    I came upon your post from Like a Bubbling Brook.

    For you-it’s what you are living-it’s how God is moving in you-healing you-growing you-teaching you-loving you….each day as you mourn this loss.

    To me-it’s a wake up call. It’s a reminder of how powerful God is! Not just amazing-faithful and great. I can’t keep fooling around day after day thinking I’ll get to God later…I’m busy right now. It’s all about Him-because He is everything! And I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are suffering but I do trust that He did do it willingly and I am confident-just by reading this one lttle post that your testimony and your faith in Him is going to speak to the hearts of so many who are lost and one day when you are re-united with your son in heaven he will wrap his arms around you and be the second in line to say, “Well done-good and faithful servant!!!”
    With much love,
    Shannon

  55. What an absolutely beautiful and heartfelt writing. My 17 month old daughter starts chemo on Monday, and of all the things I read over the past couple of days, yours had the power to encourage rather than discourage. Thank you for the reminder that God is always good. No matter what…He is good! My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you…

  56. Dana I have been following your blog for awhile and never commented, this post really spoke to me. My heart goes out to you and your family, and I wish you the best in the upcoming weeks and months as each new day must be a stark reminder of what an emptiness Tiggy has left behind. I do think you have taken your pain and anguish to the only place for true comfort, and this I truly admire about you. What a great example you are for your children!

  57. JC,

    Your question appears reasonable but shows a shallow understanding of the biblical text and the scriptural narrative.

    Furthermore these objections to God are often found cut and pasted across the internet by persons who are not really interested in an answer, but are merely posted to antagonize.

    Any forum to display their hostility towards God, even that of a grieving mothers blog, is not beneath them.

    Now that you may understand your foolishness at choosing this forum for your rant lets look at your objection to Job:

    Read Job 1:12.

    To whom is power given to do as he wishes against Job? What does that person immediately choose to do against those (innocents) of Jobs household? Is this the same villain found in Genesis 3?

    Read Genesis 3. Was there death, pain and suffering in creation before Genesis 3? No! These entered into creation when the same villain of Job 1:12 lured Adam and Eve into sin.

    From Genesis 3 and Job 1:12 we can begin to see the truth that Satan, not God is the author of evil in this world and that Amalek, an evil king, is justly punished for his rebellion against God.

    From this Biblical understanding you can then see how God works good through a fallen world to bring redemption to the lost, to those willing to come to Him.

    This good is culminated in the Cross. At the Cross God could love you no more, nor love you no less. It is the ultimate display of his goodness, “that while we were yet sinners He died for us.”

    And here’s the crux JC. Do you recognize yourself as a sinner? Do you understand you have violated God’s law and face his wrath just as those rebellious blaspheming children of Elishas day?

    Answer these honestly:

    Have you ever told a lie? That makes you a ____?
    Have you ever stolen anything regardless of value? Then you are a _____?
    Ever committed adultery, for to lust in your heart is adultery? You are a ___?

    Now don’t shy away from the real answers. Replying I’m normal, human or anything other than you are a lying, thieving, adulterer and by your comment also a blasphemer who worships idols.

    It’s not looking good for you on the day of God’s judgment.

    Your only hope is that in this life you repent and accept Christs good, gracious and free gift. Without it, the good God who must punish evil, as he has stated; will punish you, for evil will not go unpunished.

    I hope this gives you food for thought and please find an appropriate forum if you just want to spew hatred. I heard that Richard Dawkins website is a good one for such behavior.

    If you are truly interested in some answers, try the audio podcasts at bethinking.org. Look for Bruce A Little on ‘Pain and Suffering.’ Another good one is Peter S Williams at European Leadership Forum his talk is titled, ‘Is the Old Testament Ethical.’

    Now understand no amount of words or arguments we provide will change your mind. This is a heart issue. One must first understand who they truly are, sinners, before Christ makes sense.

    Remember, you don’t need to pay anyone for salvation. You don’t need to do any work for any organization. What you need is an open heart, a bible and a voice so you can ask, yell, scream, whisper and speak to God.

    Yes, Christianity is a relationship between you and God. No one can get in the way.

    Now go, make your choice.

  58. Dawn, your words slay me.
    Oh, how I judge His goodness on circumstantial evidence.
    And yet, you can sit and type of His goodness, despite such horrific loss. How? Why?
    Why did my boy live?

    Can I ever begin to understand, to grasp the gravity of what you have learned, what He has tenderly revealed, thru such excruciating circumstances?

    I fear to even long for it. What sorrow might that mean we would have to endure? And yet…to really comprehend God’s goodness…to really embrace Christ’s eternally-flung gift of love on the cross…
    Wouldn’t that change everything?

  59. Boy, did I ever need to hear this a few years back! I finally did hear it through John Eldredge’s tiny book, “Epic.” God is good when things don’t work out, when it just doesn’t make sense.
    This is my first time coming across this blog. My parents lost a toddler in an accident many, many years ago, before I was born. Hugs to you from us.

  60. Thank you for sharing your story. I had sat down at the computer so angry at my daughter for having getting poop all over the bathrom and not telling anyone. Now I am thinking about how ridiculous that anger is and all I can do is cry. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that somehow you find comfort and peace.

  61. Thank you for the beautiful story and your spirit shining through all the sadness. In times of loss I look for the small miracles I know will be there. We know God is good but this earth life is not always easy. Bless you and your family and we will keep you all in our prayers.

  62. Dana,
    Thank you, God used you to reach so many today with a message of hope.
    Here, on Holy Saturday, we’re on our way to the cardiologist for our 4-year old son’s twice-yearly echo visit. My sister lost her son to a defective heart and now we know that our son must have open heart surgery.
    Our hope is that he won’t need it until he’s older, but I know that whatever the Lord decides, it will be His perfect decision.
    God bless you and your family. I know that when a child is lost, the whole extended family hurts.
    I am praying for you to feel our Jesus’ comfort. His arms are around you all at every moment.

  63. Dana,

    I came across your blog about a week ago and ever since that day my heart and prayers are with you, Mattias and your entire family. Your words inspire me everyday and b/c of your story all my furniture will be secured to the wall. I can’t take away your pain and sorrow but I will pray for your heart to heal faster. GOD took Tiggy into his arms so now his story can save many children (including mine) from dangers in our homes.

    Love and prayers… Patty

  64. Thanks so much for sharing your deep anquish and extreme faith. You put me to shame. We are so unworthy for the Lamb that was slain… Thanks for sharing what you have so horribly had to witness, but I thank you for staying so strong for all of us and showing such a great witness.

  65. Dana,

    I thought of you and Tiggy tonight at our Easter vigil mass. Particularly at the moment after the 19 baptisms when the congregation renewed our own baptismal vows. I thought about your words here in this post. I thought about a Savior whose acceptance of His own death ensures that you will hold Tiggy close again. There is a moment in our Catholic Mass, again after baptisms, when we are all invited to our beautiful baptismal font ( it is huge and covered in beautiful Irish marble and mosaics) and dip our hands in the holy water and cross ourselves. We always sing the same song, Come to the Water. It is so beautiful. It speaks to the God’s willingness to be everything we need, if we only will come to Him. The last verse builds to a lyrical crescendo and says “bring the children without might, easy the load and light….come to the Lord”. I thought of Tiggy and my eyes filled with tears. Tears of sadness because I know you all ache without him. Tears of relief because as painful as his absence is, we know exactly where he is. Tears of joy and gratitude because on this most glorious day we are certain that you will hold him so close again. Yes, come to the water…bring the children without might and come to the Lord!

    May the promise of the resurrection ease your aching heart. Happy Easter Dana”

  66. just found your blog through a simple mom link – bless you and yours on this resurrection sunday.

    God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

    He is risen.

  67. Suffering is allowed us so that might become greater saints. If we respond to it as a saint should our position in the royal kingdom of hierarchical priests in heaven will grow greater.

  68. This is the first time I have read your story. In tears as you share your heart in this post. Yes God is good. I can’t imagine the strength and faithfulness it takes to utter those words even while recovering from tragedy. Your sweet Tiggy is with Jesus. On this glorious Easter he is with Jesus. Thank you for sharing. This post is beautiful. Blessings to your family this Easter morning.

  69. Every time I come over here and read, I cry. I guess that is a good thing. God uses your writing to get straight to the heart of the matter. And what are we doing about it? What am I doing about it? Thank you.

    Blessings
    Honey

    1. 16a134351b7What i do not understood is autlalcy how you are not autlalcy much more well-liked than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus significantly on the subject of this matter, made me for my part believe it from numerous varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t interested except it is something to do with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs great. Always handle it up! 18d

  70. Your words are achingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart and your faith, and for so selflessly articulating beauty and hope, even through tragedy. I pray that the Father continue to comfort you each day. You have touched a lot of people today. Jesus lives, and so does your sweet Tiggy.

  71. Wow…. Faith is just that, faith, in the midst of the most tragic of life’s circumstances. It is so clearly seen and heard through your precious “Tiggy’s” Life. Praying for your family…that you may find Jesus’ comfort & healing ever increasing daily, and that He may continue bringing beauty from the ashes. How right you are…God is good.

  72. Thank you, Dana. For everything. For your wise perspective, for putting things in view. Your family is on my mind and in my prayers often.

  73. There has never been a testimony that has touched me more than this one. Going through your blogs and seeing your journey and yet you still have so much hope and belief. Thank you. Thank you so very much.

  74. I think you are amazing. I am so, so, so sorry about your tremendous loss. I can’t imagine, and I am just so sorry. I just want to thank you so much for your open and tender heart in sharing this. I was waiting for the story to end in you receiving support and concluding that God is good because you survived this, which is a feat in and of itself. But to instead show us how God must have felt, how powerful. I was raised in a cold and clinical religion and as life has recently been anything but good for me, I felt God as a distant observer maybe, but not necessarily an ally. You changed my perspective, and I can’t thank you enough. I’m also an ER nurse and have seen, countless times, from a professional perspective what you went through. I just want you to know that though we are all trained to keep it together so as not to add to the parents distress and so on, these situations haunt us too. There are many things I don’t allow my child to do because I’ve watched someone else’s child suffer or die from a seemingly harmless activity. We debrief, we cry at home or on each other’s shoulders, but we don’t forget. I don’t know if that helps at all in your grief, but the children lost matter. They always do. They aren’t anonymous and they aren’t forgotten. I just wanted you to know. I’m so very sorry for your loss and profoundly grateful for your bravery and voice.

  75. Just came across your blog. Hit very close to home. 13 years ago yesterday my first husband went home to be with Lord.He was killed in a plane crash along with 2 other men. I was 8 weeks pregnant with our 1st child. Then 6 days later my dad went home to be with the Lord.If I had not had my Faith in God not sure where I’d be.During 1998 I came across verse that has stuck with me. I even had it printed in vinyl, and have it over the table in my Breakfast area. Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you “declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
    Thanks for sharing your faith and your story.

  76. Immediate tears weld in my eyes. Honored that you are still praising God despite your tragedy. You will bless so many. i am soo sorry for your loss. May God continue to give you the strength.

  77. I am so sorry for your heartache.
    He is near to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18
    Keep leaning on the everlasting arms even when you feel like turning away because life is just too hard. He will continue to speak to your heart and assure you of his love if you keep seeking him.
    Thank you for your thoughts. Praying for the holy spirit to give you peace of heart and mind as you travel this road . John 14 :27

  78. This comforted me in the loss of 2 of my 4 children.
    Hold your loved ones close today
    Whisper in their ear
    Tell them that you love them
    And you’ll always hold them dear
    For tomorrow is promised no one
    Young and old alike
    And today may be your chance
    To hold your loved ones tight.

  79. God is not good

    There is a general misconception about God that He is good, but actually He is not. God is neither good nor evil, He is beyond good and evil. If God is the ultimate being, then that God cannot be good. When we are saying that God is good, we are passing some judgment on God, we are saying that He is good. But by what standard of goodness are we judging him good? From where has it originated? As believers say that their God is the all-thing and everything that was there, therefore this standard of goodness could have originated from God only, and not from any other source, because except that God there was no other source from which it could have originated. So we are judging God good by His own standard of goodness. But this is a dangerous principle. Because if this principle is being followed in other cases also, then there will be complete chaos. Then everybody will start claiming that he should be judged for his action by his own standard only, and not by the standard of other people, society, or state. And he can legitimately claim this, because he will say that God has made man in His own image. So the principle that is followed in case of God should also be followed in case of each and every single human being. Why should there be any deviation from that principle in case of man? Is he not created in God’s own image? So, after killing six million Jews Hitler will claim that he is innocent, because he thought it absolutely necessary to efface their race from the surface of earth, in order to save mankind from future disasters. Therefore by his own standard of goodness and badness he has done nothing wrong.
    Therefore the above principle will have to be abandoned and we will have to seek for some other principle. In that case if we say that God is good, then we will have to admit that the standard by means of which we judge God good has not originated from Him, but from some other source. Here there are two possibilities:
    1) This standard is prior to God,
    2) It is coeternal with, but not originated from, God.
    In none of the two cases above, God is the all-thing and everything that can be there. So believers cannot claim that their God is the all-thing and everything that is there, and at the same time claim that He is good.
    Bertrand Russell, although an atheist, has already shown that God cannot be good, for the simple reason that if God is good, then there is a standard of goodness which is independent of God’s will. Here Russell is also admitting that if God is to be judged good at all, then He will have to be so judged by a standard that should not, and must not, have originated from God. In Hindu mythology, Brahma (Supreme Being) is said to be beyond good and evil. He is neither good, nor evil. But both good as well as evil have originated from Him, who is neither good nor evil.
    The main problem is that most of the believers are irrational people. They attribute to God many properties that cannot be attributed to Him legitimately. A God who is one cannot love, cannot hate, cannot be cruel, cannot be merciful, cannot be benevolent, cannot be all-loving, cannot be just, etc. If we say God is love, then before creation whom did He love? So if we say that God is love, then it can only be self-love. If we say that God is cruel, then we will have to admit that He is cruel to Himself. If we say that God is all-loving, then we will have to admit that this all is coeternal with God, and that therefore He has not created us at all. So we should not revere Him, for the simple reason that he is not our creator! Perhaps due to their fear of eternal hell-fire after death some people try to appease God by repeatedly saying that He is Good, whereas in reality He is not good. But does that mean that God is evil? No, not at all. Einstein has said just the right thing here: Subtle is His way, but He is not malicious!
    In one sense it can be said that the creation of the universe was God’s greatest wrongdoing. It was His biggest blunder. Because with this creation came hunger, misery, death, suffering, sorrow, slavery, murder, rape, treason, torture, and what not! Now we cannot undo what God has already done, because it is not in our power to destroy the entire universe. But we can at least destroy the earth; science has given us that much power. So it is up to us to decide what we should do. But if we do not destroy the earth, then in a sense we also become responsible for all the future evils on earth. We do not destroy the earth because we love life, thus allowing evil to run its course as before.
    The principle that God is to be judged good by His own standard of goodness is intrinsically a bad principle. Because in that case we are giving unlimited license to God to decide what is good for Him. And He can arbitrarily choose any act as good for Him that is abhorrent to others. Here believers will say that God is of such a nature He can never act badly. By saying so believers are admitting that God’s acts are good not because those are God’s acts, but because God always acts conforming to some moral code. So Russell is correct in saying that there is a standard of goodness that is independent of God’s will.
    Another reason can be given as to why God cannot be good. If God is good then the question “who created God?” cannot be answered properly and there will be an infinite regression. Believers are very clever people indeed. When this question is raised, knowing very well that they have no answer to this, they cunningly place their God outside the causal space-time universe, and then claim that causal rule does not apply there. But when the question comes as to whether God is good or evil, they blissfully forget that they themselves have placed their God outside the causal universe where not only the causal chain, but also none of the other categories of the created world would apply: goodness/badness, love/hate, justice/injustice, beauty/ugliness, compassion/cruelty, benevolence/malevolence, big/small, high/low, etc. & etc. And they will take no time to declare that their God is pure goodness itself, thus showing their utter inability to think consistently.

  80. Precious testimony. I cannot even get there in my imagination. I am so thankful your feet stand on that Rock. So thankful you still hold fiercely to Him. So thankful you understand His Sovereignty. Your faith brings Him Glory, though I am so very sorry for your pain and loss.

  81. My heart aches for you. I can empathize as my son has been ‘nearly lost’ several times and is even now on the verge of a bone marrow transplant as we wait, hope, believe for a full remission. My heart feels many things in relation to God as I trust Him and believe for healing and lean on Him as He makes us Pillars of Iron!! Praying for you. If you feel like it, pray for my Braveheart!
    Love
    Tonya

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  83. OH the TEARS!!!!!!!! And I have never been a regular reader, but sporadically I have visited a link. And I think you of you from time-to-time. And I pray for you with all the love on my heart! And I hope for you. And I wish for you.

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