The weather warmed and though snow still clung in the shadows, the sun beckoned two sisters to a picnic.
Two sisters sat in the sun with Nutella, an apple and an old stuffed dog, telling stories in the fresh country air until one of them saw a bear.
They giggled and squealed until the game suddenly became too real. Their imagination left them running and screaming back to the house where they tumbled in, faces flushed, out of breath.
And my soul rejoiced.
My soul rejoiced because the last time my little L.E. played outside was the day before the accident. I’ve watched her change. I’ve watched her sink into herself. I’ve watched her and prayed for her and worried over her and held her. I’ve listened to her and talked to her and reassured her and held her.
But she became quieter and more withdrawn and more distant from the little L.E. I once knew and I didn’t know how to call her back.
But then the sun called to her and she answered. She went for a picnic and was frightened by a bear she and her sister spoke into a story.
And that is the little L.E. I know. Full of life and imagination and a love for outdoors.
The sun shone and hope blossomed.
I homeschool my children on a small hobby farm in rural Nebraska and write about life more abundantly, from the joy of a baby's smile to the almost unbearable grief of losing a son while seeking beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3)
Oh, I am so happy for you Dana! The little ones are so much more resilient than us adults. When my niece (6) passed away about 6 years ago after a short battle with cancer, her little brother got stress induced diabetes while his parents were still in mourning (they still are, I don’t think it ends, but they say it becomes easier) and the same week he was diagnosed, they found out my SIL was pregnant again. What helped the little boy was the fact that they tried to keep things “normal” for him, which was nearly impossible at the best of times. But today he is fine. Although he was only 2 years old, he still remembers his sister with a smile.
YOUR SOUL REJOICED! Did you ever think you would be saying that again so soon?
)
Rae´s last [type] ..Simple Pleasures
Seeing your children heal a little must make your heart heal a little too.
Phyllis´s last [type] ..Germany in the Renaissance 1350-1500 Ideas and Inventions
Precious!
Steph´s last [type] ..Three Cheese Baked Ziti
ahhh, nature is your partner in her healing….. what a beautiful story.
(my urban sprawl perspective is glad you clarified that it was an imaginary bear, too, wasn’t quite sure at first)
celebrating LE and her sisters picnic with you…. darling picture!
I’m glad that the weight of worry for her was lifted for a few moments and that she experienced some joy and you did too.
Jen´s last [type] ..words matter
It is so hard to see the children suffer. I love that they love their little brother and each other so much, but it hurts to see them hurt so. Sitting up nights with their tears and their questions and the constant worry that I’m not equipped to support them through their grief when my own is so heavy.
But they make a step forward here and there and it lightens the load.
Dana´s last [type] ..Hope blossomed
Dana, the tears are streaming down my face as I read of the hope of a blossom. Praying that this first glimpse of spring’s growth will bloom and grow into the L.E. of yesterday…and even more…an L.E. made stronger by the harshness of the winter she’s endured. Wow…what a beautiful post.
Thanks so much for giving us the privilege of this window into your life.
Linda´s last [type] ..Why Should I Memorize God’s Word
Sweet. For a moment there I had to think,”Are there bears in Nebraska?” lol.
Jenn4him´s last [type] ..Having Thoughts of Spring
Wow. I love this post. It’s so nice to watch sisters being sisters. Being kids. Lovely.
I so thankful you have hope! I’ll keep praying for L.E.
Renae´s last [type] ..Words Matter- “I’m Praying for You”
With every post, I cry for you and your family. Still praying for even more daily occurrences of hope blossoming.
Shondra´s last [type] ..Ultrasound Results!
What beautiful pictures of sisters on their picnic!! What beautiful memories they are creating. I am SO glad they were enjoying this day together. I am so glad your precious L.E. was able to go out and play.
Beautiful. You grieve together and so you shall heal.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs.
Sheri´s last [type] ..Project 2011 – Week Ten
It was such a relief. Everything she has been going through is age appropriate, but I watch as my other children get a little better each day and she seemed to struggle more and more.
But since that day, she, too, has been feeling better and seeming happier.
Dana´s last [type] ..Hope blossomed
Thank you for sharing this. Its beautiful. I love seeing them outside with that big wide expanse calling to them. Like goldfish. Living a life as big as their surroundings will allow them. You’re a great mom.
Alison´s last [type] ..Florida and Kids
If I am not mistaken those are geese in the background. They make me think of Tiggy and how he loves the chickie chickies. To me this is such a beautiful reminder that Tiggy is everywhere joy and hope are. I so pray he comes to you softly and sweetly while you dream. I am so grateful LE has found a moment of happiness. It is just one of many for her. The change of seasons brings glorious renewal. And the chickie chickies bring glorious memories of your darling one.
To lose one child to death and fear losing the others to grief must be overwhelming. I’m happy that your children are coping and growing around the tragedy. Of course they, like you, will never “get over” it…but I’m happy they are learning to accept it, let it be a part of them, but not let it BE them.
Melinda, your comment made me smile. I only just noticed the geese in the garden earlier this afternoon.
Alison, I love taking pictures of them in the wide open It always made me wish I were a better photographer with a better camera, but the space just reminds me why we moved out here. You can’t go out there without filling your lungs with the fresh air and it makes everything a little brighter if only for a few moments.
And it is hard, Amy. I’ve frequently thought that I don’t really care whether I “get over it” but I don’t want my children to be negatively affected. They can’t help but be affected, but the first month especially was so dark. Watching them suffer and being so consumed with what happened that I wasn’t so sure I wasn’t just making everything worse.
Dana´s last [type] ..Hope blossomed
She just needed a little of that “Son” to shine on her. Laughter and sharing a special moment with a sibling is so healing to children. God Bless!
Lynda´s last [type] ..Words Matter
This is a keeper. I love that you wrote it like a children’s story, as if it’s made to be read back to the kids later on in the journey. Very sweet.
Cathi-Lyn´s last [type] ..Irregular Notes- A February’s Journey
Nutella, apples, and sunshine. A perfect picnic!
Praise God!! That fills my heart with joy. I am so thankful for answered prayers. I have had you on my heart heavily the past two mornings and have been praying that God would work mightily in your grief.
This is good to hear!
~Annemarie
Annemarie´s last [type] ..Trying out the whole laptop- sitting in Starbucks- publishing a post thing
so glad to read of some healing for your precious little one. praying for each of you. darci and family
Jenn, I totally thought there was a real bear!!
That was such a beautiful and hopeful post. Isn’t the sun amazing that way? Some days when things are overwhelming, I take a minute and sit on the porch in the sun (if we’re lucky tohave any) and feel it sink in…
So thankful that she’s coming back to herself!
Praying for you and yours always!
The sun helps me, as well. I think I’m going to have to be intentional about going outside, especially when the sun is shining. I tend not to unless I have to, even though my mood always lightens when I got out even for a little while.
Dana´s last [type] ..Hope blossomed