Goodbye, my sweet, sweet baby boy

Mattias Ryker Hanley

February 23, 2009 – December 12, 2010

Tiggy, our little oatmeal Pollock.

I don’t know what else to say.

0 thoughts on “Goodbye, my sweet, sweet baby boy

  1. I cried when I read this. I had to ask my husband to explain it to me, hoping I had gotten confused and read it wrong. I have seen first had how losing a child can affect a family. Although I cannot begin to fully understand the deepness of your pain and heartache, my heart weeps for you. In Gods great mercy and love, he has ordained for your son to be called home. We are praying for you and you prescious children. May God bless you and keep you in this difficult time. Draw near to him.

    C.Lord

  2. Anna-Marie says:

    My dearest Dana,

    Words won’t do. I am praying and loving and crying with you.

    I know it sounds trite and I’m far away but I really do want to help however I can. Just let me know.

  3. Joy says:

    Dana, I don’t know you or your family but I know that today is the day my son went to heaven. Our babies are in the masters hands and it is a hard time of year to lose a little one. I will be praying for you. Take time to grieve your loss and no words can express how painful it is to lose your future, your hope and your dreams with the loss of your little baby. Our babies now share this day and I shall forever pray for him as well. God Bless you and remember that the bible even says their is a time for sorrow.

  4. Aw Dana. I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened, but I am just aching for your heart and your family.
    I pray the Father will just hold you all until you can breathe.
    I am so sorry.

    (((HUGS)))
    Jacque and Matt and family
    Dixon Family recently posted…At All Times…My Profile

  5. Nan says:

    Dana…..

    Words can’t even begin to express how deeply I feel for you. Please know you and yours are in my prayers.

    I pray that as you heal you will remember with joy that your separation from your dear, sweet baby is only temporary…and that until your arms hold him once more, he is in very good hands.

    Sending you a hug…

  6. Jocelyn Tzahala says:

    Awww, Hanely family, my heart is so sad for you and the pain you all must be going through. May the Father’s shalom comfort you in this time of weeping.
    (((((HUGS))))))
    Jocelyn Tzahala

  7. No words can describe the sadness that is now engulfing your heart and the hearts of your family.

    Prayers is all I can offer to you…May Our Lord hold you close and give you peace as you travel this road of tears. Remember that He is with you through this. he is holding you close.

    M.
    Maria recently posted…Joy to me!My Profile

  8. Lori-Dawn says:

    I am so saddened by your post Dana. I can not even begin to imagine the pain you are going through!! This is the first time I visited your blog, I think I saw it through facebook. Please know that I am praying that Yahweh fills you with His sweet love and peace. There are no words I can express to ease your pain. Just know that you have many people sharing the pain with you and are praying for you and your family.

  9. Oh, Dana, I cannot believe what I have read. I had to re-read it several times. I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your family at this difficult time. May you know God has His loving, strong arms around you and your family. May He give you strength and comfort as only He can do.
    Deb recently posted…The First SnowMy Profile

  10. Summer says:

    I’m so very sorry for your loss! I hope you will share what happened! I’m shocked! Please know you’re in my prayers! I’m so very touched by your blog! I’m so sad for you!

  11. KellyinPA says:

    I’m so, so sorry. My mother’s heart hurts for you. Prayers for you and your family to the only one who can give peace that passeth all understanding.

  12. Orilla says:

    Just heard of you loss. Nothing can be said to express how I feel right now. Just remember He is safely HOME. I know your arms are empty, but remember that you don’t have to walk this journey alone. Our Heavenly Father is carrying you and your family right now. Even He weeps with us. Praying for you!

  13. Dearest Dana – Mattias’s life was but the briefest flicker of a flame, extinguished before it had time to shed its light on the world but not before sharing its warmth with you and your loved ones. May the memory of the joy Mattias brought to your family in the short time that you were together strengthen you, and may God count that joy as the weight of a life filled with such blessing, binding through that love and joy your son Mattias in the bonds of eternal life. (from Jewish Yizkor prayer)

    You are all in my thoughts.
    Judy

  14. Kirsten says:

    Dana, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I pray our Heavenly Father will embrace you and comfort you in this time of great sorrow. May He bring you shalom and understanding. I am crying for you and your family, and you will be in my prayers.

  15. Shawna says:

    Dana, I am so sorry for you and your family! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I simply don’t know what else to say (((HUGS)))

  16. Oh Dana, I don’t know what to say. My heart grieves for you and your family. I lost my own daughter to cancer when she was 24. Yesterday — the day you lost your precious boy — was her birthday. I know that you are numb right now. I will pray that the Lord will be your comfort and strength in these coming weeks and months. God bless you.

  17. Dana and family,
    I am so sorry that you had to lose your precious boy. I pray for the peace of the Lord to wrap His loving HUGE arms around your family and to find solace in Him.
    We lost our little 5 year old son to cancer 2 years ago. i do know how you feel. I wish no-one had to ever go through the loss of a child, no matter how. Jacque Dixon blogged about your son and so I am praying for you.

    Julie K

  18. Q says:

    Oh Dana . . . you know there are no words. He was just a little older than my daughter, who was killed at 20 months. Contact me via THL if you need anything, and know that you and yours are being prayed for . . . and will be . . . for a very. long. time.

  19. I’m so so so sorry. I have never been to your blog before today, I don’t know you or what happened to your little guy but I can’t stop weeping for you. I am praying and praying for you and your family. Hugs from Tennessee. May the Lord Bless you, keep you and may his face shine upon you.

  20. Dana, there are no words. I keep searching. I am heartbroken for you. You’ve been in my thoughts all day & forever will be. I am so very sorry for your loss – and for your entire family. You’re all in my prayers.

    Sending love.

    -Melissa

  21. Dear Dana and family,

    I didn’t understand when I first read the post. I didn’t want to understand when I read it again. I still don’t want to believe it.

    My heart is yours right now…I can only just barely imagine what you all are going through. I cry mother’s tears for you and wish that I could be closer to you to help in any way.

    May God’s grace guide you during this terrible time and may you and your family find some peace and comfort.

    Much love
    Sheri recently posted…Chocolate Chip Christmas CookiesMy Profile

  22. Matt says:

    Dana…

    Teresa and I are joining in your other friends here to say that we are truly sorry for the loss of your little guy. I wish I could say something to give you and that awesome husband of yours some some comfort. Accept our condolences and our virtual hugs.

    Maybe this will help…maybe:

    But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. – Luke 18:16.

  23. I was just sitting here saying no over and over – I have no idea what happened, but my heart is breaking. I am so sorry for your loss. I am here if you need me – I love you sweetie.

  24. May the God of heaven be your comfort through this difficult time and may the sweet memories of your little one bring joy to you in the future.

    Praying for you and your family.

  25. Sue says:

    May the God of peace wrap His loving arms around you and your family today. I’m so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

  26. Poppy says:

    Dana,

    I. can. NOT. imagine. how you feel….prayers are being sent right this second with requests of love, healing, wisdom to know that one day you will be reunited with that precious little one on streets of gold up in Heaven, and for God’s peace just overflow in your life right now. Words just don’t express what everyone feels but God knows our hearts and yours.

  27. Just wanted to say that I am praying for you and your family during this terrible and horrible time. May the God who wipes away tears hold you in His arms with promises that you will see your sweet boy again.

  28. Sweet Dana,
    I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved little guy and for your deepest grief. My heart is aching for you and what you and your family are going through. I wish I could give you a hug and stand right there with you in prayer.
    Please know my family and I will be praying for you and your family.
    Lots of love,
    The Vawter Family
    Joie recently posted…Children Missionaries in Government SchoolsMy Profile

  29. Dorian says:

    I am hurting for you. My heart has broken for your family. I am soo sorry for the lost of your precious son. Surely, our world has lost another sweet, perfect light.
    Mother to mother, I can hardly begin to imagine your pain and lost.
    I will be praying for you and your family. May God’ peace, grace and love come upon you during this most difficult season in your life.

    Love, Dorian

  30. Dana, I am so very sorry. Aching tonight with groans none can express. My tears and my prayers are with you. Your little man was a greeted by our precious nephew yesterday.

    I’m not far if you need anything, anything, even to just get away. Please let me know if I can be of help.

    Love and prayers.

    Kathy
    kathy recently posted…A Perfect GiftMy Profile

  31. Marilyn Just says:

    Dana and Family,
    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your little boy. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Marilyn Just (CBC–Olathe)

  32. Randie says:

    Dana, though I don’t know you personally, my heart hurts terribly for you and your family over hearing about the loss of your precious baby boy. I can not fathom your pain at this time. You will all be in my daily prayers.

  33. Megan H. says:

    Thinking of you and your family. May the Lord strengthen each of you and give you comfort. It’s so nice to see that you have many people praying for you and thinking of you at this time. God Bless.

  34. Dana, I’m so sorry for your loss.

    There are no words that can fill your void. But I am praying for the Lord to hold you close during this time and in the days, weeks, months, years to come.

    You are loved.

    I saw the prayer request for you and your family on Sisterlisa’s facebook.
    Marsha recently posted…What’s Brewing Today @ Grace CaféMy Profile

  35. Donna says:

    Dana, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I don’t have words to come close to comforting you, but you are thought of and prayed for in this time of sorrow.

    Donna

  36. I am weaping with you.
    Shalom to your family — may God fill up the hole this tragedy has left so that you have nothing missing nor broken.
    May the Lord turn this bad around for his good, for you and your husband, and for your other children, as well.
    May He show you how to use this to glorify you even in the midst of it all.

    With much love & Intense Prayer,
    Donna
    Donna – WWAHHMpreneur recently posted…Post-Partum &amp Nursing Moms – I We Understand- Be EncouragedMy Profile

  37. AprilMay says:

    I just found your blog through facebook and I want you to know that I am in tears over the loss of your sweetheart. I am praying for you and your family.

  38. Oh Dear Dana, I am so sorry. Praying for you and your family. I just now heard, as my father-in-law passed away suddenly this morning. May God comfort and sustain you in his love and peace during this time of grief.

    All my Love,
    Lisa

  39. Heather Hamilton says:

    there are no words that i can say that will take your pain, but i do know that God will heal you, and comfort you through this trial. Many heartfelt prayers to you and your family!

  40. lori says:

    the passing of a child is something I will never comprehend. Please let everyone’s prayers wrap you and your family in a comfort of warmth and peace.

  41. Lori says:

    Having followed you on Twitter for a long time, and remembering when Mattias was born, it seems unreal to read this terrible news. I am so, so sorry for you and your family. There is nothing any of us can say to take away your pain, but please know that I am praying for you, that God will somehow bring you comfort in the midst of this tragedy.

  42. Dana,

    I have resisted commenting because I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t know what to say. But may you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. May God’s presence be with you as you face the next few hours, days, weeks and months. May His grace sustain you when you think you can’t move forward. And may His love hold you up when all else seems to be falling down.

    Sending hugs & prayers your way,
    Alicia

  43. Oh Dear One,

    Words cannot even express the pain I feel for you and the pain you must be feeling.

    Know that I am praying for you just as hundreds of other Moms are praying for you right now.

  44. April says:

    Dana,
    I have never before been to your blog. I was directed here through twitter. The Queen of Spain sent me. I am completely heart broken for your family. I have a daughter who was born just a day before your little man. I hope that you are able to find peace and comfort some how. Feel the prayers that are lifting you up. I am so sorry for your loss.

    April

  45. Jules says:

    I have never visited here before, but was directed here from Twitter. I have twins a few months younger than your precious angel & this sad news has brought me to tears.

    My condolences on your loss.

  46. My heart is heavy for you. Please know that you are in our prayers as you go through this difficult time. God is faithful and I am confident that He will give you the comfort you need.
    Ali recently posted…The CallMy Profile

  47. I’m so sorry. It is true, there is nothing anyone can say that will fill the void. And the nightmare you can’t wake from… words just fail. I pray that in future weeks and months you may take great comfort in knowing he is with the Lord, and perhaps some comfort as well from knowing that there are others who have come through similar loss. I lost a brother to a tragic accident almost 5 months ago; he was a bit like a first son to me. Not the same, no — no two stories of grief are ever just the same. But we are members of a club we never wanted to be part of, and we share each other’s pain somehow, even when we don’t know each other. Praying.

  48. Having lost a 16 year old son 6 years ago on 12/10/04 I know the ache and fog you are in and my heart aches for a mom I don’t know, but know the pain you are enduring. I am so sorry and wish I could stand next to you and hold you and weep with you.

    One thing that has recently comforted me is thinking of Psalm 23 when we read as we “walk through the shadow of death”, in order for there to be a shadow there has to be light and though it seems total darkness you are in and will go through, know that He really is there – and you are under His wing, never to be forsaken.

    May God comfort you and your family. With tears ~ Loni
    Loni recently posted…In ‘Other’ Words Whose WillMy Profile

  49. BettyJean says:

    I am so sorry. Praying for God’s grace, comfort, & mercy as you & everyone in your family grieve and as you all remember & cherish his beautiful life. I’m so sorry.

  50. Cara says:

    Praying for you, dear one, that you would be cradled in God’s unending, abounding love, that He would pursue you with His love and comfort, that your faith would grow deeper still, that you would be a light to others. You are loved by many.

  51. A friend sent me the link to your What Happened post first, then this one. I am so, so, sorry. The words seem so inadequate. He was beautiful and my heart is aching for your tragic loss. Please know that I’m thinking about you and your family.

  52. Batyah says:

    I’m so sorry. My son died 7 years ago when he was 22 and all the things you said in your story were so familiar. I just kept telling myself to BREATHE. I know you don’t understand this now but it will get better. The pain will dull just enough to think about him and smile….most days anyway. My prayers are with you.

  53. Melissa says:

    This is my first time to your blog. My youngest is one week older than Mattias. I cannot fathom the pain you are in, but know that my tears and prayers are with you. I do not know you, but my heart is breaking for your loss. May God hold and comfort you and your family in the weeks and years to come. I am so deeply sorry.

  54. Polly Wallis says:

    Words cannot express how heartbroken I am for you. It sounds like he was such a blessing and a joy! I know your arms will ache for him and your heart is overwhelmed. I just pray that God would be your comfort.

  55. Laurie says:

    Dear Dana,
    I have been following your blog for some time and today when I read your post I prayed.
    God will be your comfort in this tragic time of your lives…my heart aches for you and yours.
    Know that there are many people that have you and your family in their thoughts and prayers.

  56. Oh how everything within me wishes that you didn’t know this pain. The what-ifs are haunting but then I remember that God knew how many days my Justice and your Tiggy would be with us before we ever knew them. And I know peace.
    Tiffany recently posted…Justices Stocking UpdateMy Profile

  57. I am praying for you and your family. We don’t know eachother. We’ve never met. But I am crying with you. I’m hurting with you. My heart is aching for you and your family.

  58. Michelle says:

    Dear Dana and Family~ I am so sorry to hear about your loss, his smile from your picture shows what a happy boy he was. I will be thinking of you all during this time of sorrow.

  59. Danielle says:

    Im very sorry for your loss! A son took too soon! May your family find peace and comfort in this very hard time. May God bless you!

  60. Carolyn~ says:

    Words at a time like this stink.There is no way to say or do anything to fix this.Made even moreso due to my being a stanger.However, I couldn’t read and not let you know that your story has impacted me today.

    I have wept for you and your family today. I was linked to your blog from another website.I read the entry I was linked to.I sobbed. I saw this, and even as a total stranger to your family, am overcome with a sadness I cannot begin to describe. One thing I have been thinking on his name. Mattias “gift of God” and Ryker “strength”.What a powerful meaning behind the name!

    I hope you are able to sense our Father in Heavens arms around you as your brothers and sisters in Christ call out your name Dana.That you are truly granted “strength” in the days,weeks and years to come while trying to cope with the un-expected calling to home eternal, of your son Mattias, a very special “gift of God”

    I’ll be praying for you and your family mama.I truly will…

  61. Oh. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know you. I followed a link. A friend of a friend of a friend. I read what happened and I sobbed. I’m still sobbing. Your son, Mattias, was born on the same day as my baby, Mateo. And I cannot imagine what you are going through. I cannot imagine. I don’t even want to imagine and that’s not fair to you because you are living it. I have seen too many kids, too many babies go to heaven this year and I am so sorry that your son is one of them. I am so sorry. I know you’re getting offers from the world, but it still stands to be said, if you need anything… I am definately praying for you.
    Carla recently posted…Terrible TuesdayMy Profile

  62. Deanna says:

    Prayers for you and your family – your Tiggy shares a birthdate with my daughter… My you all feel God’s presence immensely and His huge arms wrapped around you!

  63. jenna's mom says:

    I know words can’t comfort you at this time but please know in your heart that your sweet boy is with God now. I know we arn’t supposed to question Him but sometimes it’s just so unfair. I’ll hug my baby girl extra tight to me tonight.

  64. Carrie says:

    “How do we know, Master,” Tanis asked hestitantly, “whether the life of any creature has fulfilled its destiny? I have known the very old to die in bitterness and despair. I have seen young children die before their time but leave behind such a legacy of love and joy that grief for their passing was tempered by the knowledge that their brief life had given much to others.” – Tanis Half-Elven

  65. Jesse says:

    Dear Dana,

    So shocked to hear what happened. It was as if I knew Tiggy personally. I had tears streaming down my face, when I read about what happened and your tragic loss. Matt 19:14. Rest assured – Tiggy is in a better place, and he is waiting for you.

    Jesse
    jesse.main@gmail.com

  66. estelle charat says:

    I am with you in this terrible drama , Que Dieu bénisse votre petit garçon, il est dans les bras de l’Enfant Jésus…
    God Bless all your family, praying hard for you….
    estelle

  67. Leanne says:

    My heart breaks 🙁
    Praying for you, your husband and your precious children….may the Lord keep your hearts together as you mourn the tragic loss of your son.. and may your hearts create of garden of memories for Tiggy.

  68. Oh my, I am so sorry for your loss. I read your “What Happened” post and am in tears. From one mother to another, I just can’t imagine the pain that you’re experiencing and the horror that you have been through. I pray…for whatever it is that you and your family will need to get through this tragedy.
    Mrs. Brooke recently posted…Teeth!My Profile

  69. ESRA says:

    I am writing from Turkey, İstanbul.
    During reading your writing I suppose my heart is stopping.
    I really feel very ubset.
    what can a word say my feelings,

    sorry for my English….

  70. My heart breaks 🙁 Praying for you, your husband and your precious children….may the Lord keep your hearts together as you mourn the tragic loss of your son.. and may your hearts create of garden of memories for Tiggy.

  71. I am breathless with grief for you, mama. My youngest is the same age as your lost darling and I can’t imagine the pain of losing him. I will pray you find healing for your pain.

  72. Laura Julia says:

    i cant even begin to express how sorry i am for u. i cried like a baby reading your story. i lost a baby girl when i was 31 weeks with her so i can relate to the lose. however i can not imagine losing one of my 3 babies (triplets) now that i have held them and cared for them. they will be 8 months on the 6th. i wish i could take away your pain and give u back your little tiggy, but i cant. instead i will pray for you and your family. i hope my baby girl will find your little tiggy up in heaven and they will become great friends. if you ever want to talk please email me at laurajulia03@yahoo.com and i will give you my number or we can chat through email if you’d rather. hugs, love, and prayers from my family to yours.

    The Julia Family

  73. Melissa says:

    I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Your Twiggy is a sweet, sweet angel now, and I cried so hard reading this. I am praying for you, and will every day. May God hold you up when you think you can’t go any longer.

  74. Lydia J says:

    I am so drawn in by you, your life and your grieving the loss of your little Mattias. I just keep coming back and reading more. My heartaches for you, and at the same time I enjoy your simplicitic lifestyle. You are a real doen home women of God. I admire you for taking time to write your experiences down, and having courage to share these personal events and feelings. You have a gift for sharing through the written word. The Lord is strong in you and that is probably why you can share. It seems to help you as well as your readers. Me included as a new reader to your blogs. Your an incredible lady and the Lord is certainly visible in your writing. I thank you for all your sharing. You inspire me , and though I haven’t lo
    st a child after having him in my arms like you, I have lost people in my life. You will touch many in need of hearing your life stories, and help them to deal with like experiences or similar losses. You will be a reminder of the life that the Lord can use, and an encouragement to others seeking the Lord or thinking of homeschooling. Thank you Dana. May the Love of the Lord crry you through.

  75. heidi says:

    My son died of a brain tumor at 13 1/2 months. We only knew for 6 days. He died soon after surgery although we were at the best hospital and had the best Dr. This was 24 yrs. ago. I feel your pain and want you to know you will never forget him – never. He is always yours. He is sitting with our Lord Jesus Christ – he is with my son and many other children and they are loved.

  76. Dana Duke says:

    Dear Dana and family
    I am sad for the loss for you in losing your precious little guy.
    Noone could read this without crying and feeling your pain. I like that you read and reread the scriptures that are to comfort us.

    Just know that your family is being prayed for and lifted up.
    My name is Dana as well, and I want you to know that I am thinking and praying for you.

    Dana Duke
    Florida (school teacher, Reading and the Arts)

  77. Pingback: Cutie

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge