I never would have guessed that Mig the Pig’s Big Book would be both our downfall and our breakthrough. I never would have guessed that a little word like “gig” could bring a lesson to a standstill. And that “stopped”–oh, that vile, malicious little word–I never would have guessed that it could cause such trauma to my six year old.
And I never, ever, ever would have guessed that I would stoop so low as to bribe my son to read.
Bear slides into the chair next to me, looking suspiciously at the book I have laid out on the table. I chose it for our first formal reading lesson in our new house because he has been pouring over it for days. He drops his shoulders and sighs as he realizes what is going on, but I let it slide.
“How do you spell pig?” I ask by way of an introduction.
We are beginning a unit on farm animals that will last them the rest of their schooling as we slowly transform our lives here on this property.
“Pig”, he repeats. “/P/-/I/-/G/,” he makes each sound distinctly. “D-O-X-O-T-O-L-O-B!” he spells, triumphantly.
You’re silly, I say, tickling him. He falls out of his chair laughing.
OK, OK. It is P-I-G. P-I-G. P-I-G!
He gets back in his chair, still smiling as he reads, Mig the Pig’s Big Book. Just like that, fluently and with no prompting. I’m impressed. Not only has he not forgotten what we have learned so far, he seems to be gaining some confidence and is reading words rather than sounding out each and every letter.
That all came to a screeching halt when Mig had to go and take a ride in her gig. He looked at the word in disbelief, refused to try to read it, argued with the book even. I rested my head between my forefingers for a moment, breathing deeply, willing myself to not get frustrated. To not let my frustration show.
Deep breath. 1-2-3. Another deep breath. Suddenly, I realize his problem is not the word itself. I cover the picture with my arms and ask him to read the word.
“Gig,” he say with disgust. “It says gig, but that’s stupid.”
“Why is it stupid?”
“Because it is a chariot, not a gig!”
I try not to laugh and reassure him that the little cart can be called a gig. He recovers, if ever so slightly, and moves on until we get to “stopped.”
There, all sanity ends and he throws himself on the floor. He moves to his bed letting out a soul wrenching cry of despair. Dramatic, that’s all I can say, and the poor guy can hardly catch his breath.
And this is the problem we have with reading. He shows all the signs of being ready to read. He knows his letters, their sounds, loves word games, sounds out words, asks how words are spelled continuously. He loves word windows and word family strips. He inhales pattern books. He likes the familiar, the predictable, the comfortable. But he has a low tolerance for frustration and he falls apart as soon as he is pushed the slightest bit outside his comfort zone.
But he likes lists and charts and order and little boxes to check, too. He likes simple, straightforward goals that are easy to accomplish and come with clear rewards. He loved the Pizza Hut Book It program we were involved in for a whole month before my husband inadvertently threw away all the coupons.
So when the tears finally subsided, we made a chart. He loved it’s neat rows of boxes even before I told him what it was for. Especially his name at the top and the boxes that were big enough for him to write something in.
I told him he could put ten cents in each of those boxes if he did his reading without tears or complaints.
“Ten whole cents?! I’m going to be rich!”
“You can’t fuss, or whine.”
“Can we start now?”
And he took the book with a smile. Enthusiasm, even. He read well, if a bit falteringly. He wrote ten cents down in the little box and beamed. Then he went and got another book and sounded out a couple of words, just to show me he could.
So, yeah. I totally caved. I’m paying off my son for a little cooperation during reading time. But you know what he told his father today?
“Daddy, I can’t wait for my next reading lesson. I just can’t wait!”
Instilling a love of reading is probably one of my top goals for education. And if it costs me sixty cents a week, well, I guess I’ll swallow my pride and go with it.
Because he just can’t wait for his next reading lesson.
And someday, the reading will get easier and he will be able to satisfy his voracious appetite for knowledge in the pages of those books. I’ll worry about how to stop paying him later.
homeschool homeschooling home education reading teaching reading
Roscommon Acres is a place to stop and discuss news and information related to faith, family and particularly education. Turn your children out on the pasture, pour yourself a cup of tea and join the conversation!
Thursday, 18. February 2010
hmmm. sounds familiar.
how old is he?
monica @ educating magpies´s last blog ..Out for a Wednesday drive
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Thursday, 18. February 2010
He’s six, soon to be seven. Quite a bright little guy, but oh can he get intense when he gets frustrated!
Dana´s last blog ..Reading Breakthrough, or Victory of the Bribe
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Thursday, 18. February 2010
My youngest is HIGHLY motivated by cash. In fact, he has a sincere interest in wealth, itself. He is intrigued with wealthy individuals and studies them. He dreams of what he will do to acquire wealth as he matures–a lawyer was it for awhile, but he has moved on to pilot fully aware that they really do not make much money. He laments that children are not allowed to work, and thus begin the accumulation of wealth early on. So yes, if cash is what sometimes works then I also have caved… but it has led to some interesting studies of interesting individuals and interesting philosophies.
On the other hand, now that he is 10 yrs old… a dime won’t move him LOL Thus our cash incentives have dwindled, and I have had to come up with other means to motivate and move my fiercely independent and self-directed child!
Shawna´s last blog ..Raising Children
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Thursday, 18. February 2010
Hmm…I wonder if M&Ms would help out around here.
My Sunshine announced that she doesn’t want to read. Ugh. She doesn’t quite get that it’s not optional. She does, however, want to write and once I can get her to focus she does quite well.
It’s interesting how our ideals don’t always work in reality, isn’t it? I never want to “bribe” my children, but I wonder if bribing in essence is trying to get someone to do something against their conscious. It seems it’s a question of motive, but the last time I tried to think through that I ended up with more questions.
Renae´s last blog ..Inexcusable
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Thursday, 18. February 2010
Here is my thought for the day, Renae. I wonder sometimes if we don’t see the misuse of extrinsic motivation so much that we forget that it can be good as well.
Most of us are perfectly willing to punish a child for misbehavior, but then want them to work for praise alone. And sometimes not even that. I’ve worked with many a parent who believed that praise was only for when the child went “above and beyond.” So essentially there was punishment for wrong-doing, but rarely encouragement for right-doing.
And Shawna, I love how little things cost for young ones. My four year old is on cloud nine if I give her a penny I find on the street!
Dana´s last blog ..Reading Breakthrough, or Victory of the Bribe
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Renae Reply:
February 18th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Dana,
I’ll have to think about that some more. You could be onto something. My son enjoys playing a video game when he finishes his school. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I enjoy a bit of time blogging or reading when I finish at least some of my daily work. (As you know, our work is never completed.)
Oh, and I heard somewhere that there is a difference between learning a skill and obedience. Learning a skill might need some rewards. For instance, I’m the one who saw the benefit of potty training. My kids didn’t really care much, but when I gave them something as incentive it made all the difference.
Maybe reading is the same way. It’s hard work and kids can’t understand the full implications of opening up the world of ideas. Once they do get it, reading can become its own reward.
And isn’t praise is an extrinsic motivator also? You can’t really get away from it.
Renae´s last blog ..Inexcusable
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Dana Reply:
February 18th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Yes it is! And my four year old eats it up as excitedly as my son does his dimes.
Every child is different, and each child places a different value on things like our time, attention, gifts, etc.
Dana´s last blog ..Reading Breakthrough, or Victory of the Bribe
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Thursday, 18. February 2010
Hi Dana,
A local friend was recently admitting she is paying her TEENAGE son to read. He’s a surfer who loves reading and reads a lot, but a narrow selection. She’s paying him to read books SHE selects, to widen his repertoire!
My kids are 4.5 and 5.5 now. A year or two ago I drew ‘Reading Rockets’ for them and each time they read to me we wrote the name of the book (eg. readers from starfall.com) in the rocket. The reward for a full rocket (25 books) was a trip to a huge play cafe. Unfortunately, we often went to play cafes anyway, so it wasn’t enticing enough. Still, they read, just to see the list grow. But now they prefer ABC Reading Eggs, and the books we make together.
Vanessa
Vanessa´s last blog ..Slime school!
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Tuesday, 23. February 2010
I’m with Dana. As adults, we often work for pay… and if there’s no pay we don’t go to work, we find someone else to work for/pay us. But we often ask our children to perform work they don’t see the value in (such as potty-training or learning to read) for little or no payoff. Bribe is such an ugly word, and most folks have such a strong reaction to it. But is it *really* a bribe? Honestly, it doesn’t sound like a bribe to me so much as a reward for a job well-done. Plus, it gives you a chance to begin teaching money-management skills.
Ritsumei´s last blog ..I Heart Faces: Hands-On
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