Today, I don’t have to go anywhere. We may go to the library because I promised the children we would this week and this week is running out of days. But I don’t have to, I don’t even particularly want to, and I’m relishing the ability to just be home.
It is a new feeling for me. For some time, the mere thought of staying home for days at a time led to restlessness and a vague sense of being trapped. I could only straighten the same rooms, mediate the same squabbles, fold the same laundry, wash the same dishes so many times before going stir crazy.
I tried not to go into town unnecessarily. We were, after all, doing our best to save wherever we could. But having something to do away from home was a relief. I even looked forward to grocery shopping, especially on the rare occasion my husband was home and agreed to take the children while I “picked up a few things.”
Like my sanity.
Living here is a little different. Part of that is because it is still new, but there’s more. The chickens keep me occupied throughout the day, I have several light remodeling projects and I’m in the midst of planning for a sizable garden as well as a small flock of geese. I have enough work to fill each day, but it is a different kind of work than just continually cleaning and moving around the same things in the endlessly tedious task of maintaining our stuff. It feels more productive because I am building and creating something new while laying a basic groundwork for our future here.
Interestingly, even my ever-present pile of laundry seems less daunting and the continual picking up behind small children less tedious.
And for the first time since leaving the workforce, I truly want to be here at home.
I homeschool my children on a small hobby farm in rural Nebraska and write about life more abundantly, from the joy of a baby's smile to the almost unbearable grief of losing a son while seeking beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3)
Lovely, Dana. I am actually getting out more here in our new home, but I had a glimpse of what spring and summer will be like this week. The weather warmed up a bit. We saw the first robins in our yard, and the kids were drawn outside to create bird feeders and toad houses. I could picture us gardening and doing lessons on the porch.
.-= Renae´s last blog ..Bawling During Homeschool =-.
I have recently witnessed genuine contentedness in the home of a friend (who also has chickens) I was drawn to it, desiring so much to make that contentedness mine too. Sounds like you’re on that journey. Being home has been hard for me too, but I find myself finding excuses to say home lately. It’s a wonderful, content feeling. I’m so glad you’re enjoying your new home. It’s fun to “watch” you from the outside.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Puppy Love =-.
Thanks! Maybe it is the chickens.
I think it is a combination of being at the start of a life long dream (living in the country and raising a lot of our own animals) and having more purposeful work.
Not saying there isn’t purpose in dishes and laundry. I still have enough of that! But it is a different kind of work and I feel like I’ve accomplished something when it is done. I never get that from most household chores.
.-= Dana´s last blog ..Homeschooling in the popular culture =-.
Nice! It’s not easy to find contentment with the thanklessness and repetitiveness of most household chores. But I can see how breaking that up with caring for livestock, planning gardens and working toward a more self-sufficient lifestyle would make it less monotonous. After 15 years of being at home, I too am just finding my groove and am actually starting to enjoy it.
Great post.
.-= Zayna´s last blog ..In That Rocking Chair =-.
Well, I’m happy to hear you’re finding your groove, too, Zayna! It is rather monotonous at times, especially with small ones always leaving drawers open, emptying cabinets for no apparent reason and making sure that no room can be cleaned and just stay that way for more than a few minutes!
.-= Dana´s last blog ..Homeschooling in the popular culture =-.
it took me awhile too, but I truly love being at home. I would get stir crazy when I didn’t get out of the house for days, especially when mine were so little. now I really like being home. and the kids like it too. that helps a lot.
we don’t have geese. I’m trusting the Lord for a pony, maybe a horse. boys campaigning hard for lizards.
My daughter wants a horse, but that is a ways off. Can I pester you for a lizard, too? They’re really cool, and the kids can spend the afternoon catching crickets for them!
.-= Dana´s last blog ..Book Giveaway! =-.
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